DDs not eating much. Keep going or give in and give them what they want?

[WhenTheDragonsCame]

DD2 and DD3 are both fairly fussy, to be fair DD3 isn't as bad as DD2 but neither have a very balanced diet.

I have tried the giving them healthy food and just letting them eat what they want in the hope that they will suddenly decide that they like veg but it just hasn't happened and I'm getting a bit worried.

Today they have had:

Breakfast = porridge. They eat all of it.
Lunch = half a large bagel and scrambled egg made with 3 eggs between them and with a bit of cheese. DD3 eat it all but DD2 just had the bagel
Dinner = Chicken with mashed potato, sweetcorn and a small amount of mixed veg. DD3 eat all of the chicken and mash but very little of the veg and DD2 just eat the chicken.

So basically DD2 has eaten a bowl of porridge, half a bagel, some chicken and a very small amount of chocolate (about 10p size) and some hot milk all day. She is not saying she is hungry but will probably wake up with tummy ache (hunger pains) in the morning.

I want to try and move away from feeding them rubbish just to get something in them. Evening meals I can give them pesto with spinach blended in, pasta with cheese sauce with cauliflower blended in or bolognaise with carrot finely grated into in but lunches I really struggle with. They refuse to eat any veg and not much fruit, basically banana, dried apricot, raisins and DD3 will eat oranges and grapes.

Any advice would be great.

do you have time to make them good quality rubbish?
just trying to think of some of our rubbishy favs, fajitas are the biggest chicken, sweetcorn, peas, (any salad or veg they will eat) tom ketchup, cheese in a wrap.

Do not be afraid of tom ketchup with everything, they do grow out of it and veg with ketchup is better than no veg.

Unfortunately neither of the DDs will eat sweetcorn, peas or any salad. I put it on their plate but DD2 refuses to eat any at all and DD3 asks how much sweetcorn she needs to eat and will then eat a very small amount.

I do the hairy bikers 5 minute pizza which uses passata but again no veg. DD3 will eat chickpeas and kidney beans but DD2 won't.

DD2 is better than she was quantity wise but I think I've got into the habit of giving her what she wants. She will eat cheese omelette with kethup but not scrambled egg with cheese. She gets herself into a right state, crying and screaming, if she is made to eat something she doesn't like, then gives herself a headache. She would have nothing at all rather than eat what she doesn't want and must have gone to bed many times hungry but rarely asks for something else.

They both have a daily vitamin which gives me peace of mind but not sure it helps to get then to eat sensibly.

I don't think that sounds too bad actually.

If she wakes with tummy pains, is she old enough to understand if you say maybe it's hunger, and if she ate more she wouldn't have it?
However I'd slightly caution about just dismissing it as hunger. It may be that she is actually in pain for a different reason.
I dismissed dd2's tummy pains for about a year until I took her to be checked out and found she was badly constipated. She was always dramatic, so ti seemed like she just added "my tummy hurt" onto any other complaint she gave.

I would do a mixture: Make sure there is something good they like on each plate, and nothing you know they really dislike. But if there's something they're not keen on but will eat (like sweetcorn) give a tiny bit and say you expect it eaten.

The thing is both me and dh had parents who just gave yo the food and expected it to be eaten. Dh still won't touch sprouts and broccoli-the two things he hated during childhood. That thing is, I'm fairly certain that if his parents hadn't made him eat it each time they had it, then he'd be happy to try it as an adult and would like it. And I will start retching if I try to eat the foods I hated-brown bread and mashed potato, which were served at every meal bar breakfast.

It's pretty depressing as a child looking at a plate of food knowing that you really don't like any of it. And I would have happily starved myself if I'd been given a choice or eat it or starve-and I can go days without eating without giving me a problem.

So I would make sure on their plate there is something they like that you're happy for them to eat. I would then, say give them a choice between eg. some peas, sweetcorn or both-and only give a small amount so it doesn't look too dreadful to begin. Choose two things that they will eat a litle of.

And then have fruit/toast available as snacks for them.

And make sure that birthdays/Christmas/special days you don't insist they eat the stuff they don't like. Dh's family used to insist he ate at least one sprout even on Christmas day

And they may grow out of it. Dd2 until she was 5yo ate very little. Sweetcorn was the only thing she ate consistantly well, and it wasn't uncommon for her meals for the day to have consisted of 2 spoons of yoghurt and a sqre inch of bread... she now eats like a horse.

my mum remebers the time i only ate weetabix and cauliflower for a while, apparently i was very "regular".

My son had cucumber sandwhichs this was 2 slices of cucumber with kethcup between.

DD2 is 6 and DD3 is 4.

I don't force her to eat something she says she doesn't like but the list of vegetables she will eat on their own (as in not hidden) is completely empty.

When they are in school I do them a hot dinner in the evening as I am able to get more healthy ingredients in rather than a cold tea where they end up eating a sandwich, banana or raisins, children's yoghurt and a packet of crisps.

Thank you for the tips.

I think I get frustrated that she won't eat quite normal foods and I feel I have to restrict everyone else's diet. DD1 will pretty much eat anything.