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Small age gap - fighting and rivalry

1 reply

Givemecaffeine21 · 09/04/2015 10:29

There are 11 months between mine, they are going to be 2 and 3 in a couple of months time. They are besties but they also fight A LOT and I am forever intervening, separating etc. Eldest is on a power trip and snatching a lot hissing 'I NEED THAT' or generally being overpowering and domineering. Youngest has always been high needs and whines and cries so much that some days I think I may have a breakdown. These Easter hols with the eldest off nursery have been hell. We've kept busy and go out each day, play dates etc, but our time at home is punctuated by screaming, crying, fighting, wailing etc. I am shouting a lot but I feel like I'm going crazy and getting depressed again.

Any tips and when do I stop getting involved in fights? DS screams and cries so loudly I feel I have to intervene but it is just noise...the neighbours mentioned him crying when he was a baby but it is literally all he has done from day one. The HV when we got to the one year mark confirmed it was just his personality to be...the shoutiest, most discontent, crossest child around very vocal and tricky. He is a LOT better but still goes ballistic regularly when he doesn't get his own way.

Do I put in earplugs and let them sort themselves out or jump in every five minutes? I worry DD will become resentful as I do give in to DS more simply because I can't bear the noise he makes but on the flip side she is being awful lately and destroying everything. I've come off meds around Christmas and I fear I'll be going back in them to cope. I really don't want to do that but I don't know how else to manage.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BackforGood · 09/04/2015 17:24

Just sounds like a 'high maintenance' dc to me been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
At this age, there's nothing you can do but intervene and get involved a lot.
However, you can try the 'positive attention thing' - going really OTT and lots of attention and OTT praise when they do something nice/good/kind/as you'd hope, and trying to be much calmer when they do something you don't like - although can give fuss to the 'victim' .
I know it's easier said than done, but it does work when you can manage it.

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