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Ds (9) socialising

4 replies

Jaded2004 · 08/04/2015 03:16

There are various issues. I strongly believe that DS is autistic (quite high functioning) but I'm having problems getting anyone to witness his behaviours other than close family and friends.
He usually has one friend he plays with at school but I have been told he is widening his circle slowly.
On Monday I took him to cub camp, he's been going to the same group for around two years now. When we got there there were lots of his group all standing casually chatting. Ds went and stood near them for quite some time but not one of them said hello or even seemed to acknowledge him. I watched this for around ten minutes and then called ds over under some pretence. I asked him if any of his friends were there and he said yes so I said that he could always say hello to them if they don't say hi first but I was then to I could leave. I said bye and went to the car where I was sat for around 5 minutes sorting sat nav. When I pulled away he'd got his book out and was sat on his own. It broke my heart ð??? he was so excited to go and it was so awkward and I know he must have felt left out and different while he sat reading his book. He's so often overlooked by other children and adults, he never complains and he does try. He has friends to play occasionally and I've had to pull him up a couple of times but I'm consistently told he behaves well by the school and friends parents. He separates his life into compartments which makes it difficult to know how he's always behaving. I'm sure that he will be having a great time but that whole thing has really stayed with me... His little face trying to look engrossed in his book when he couldn't figure out how to interact broke my heart. Any advice on how I can help him will be so gratefully received.

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 08/04/2015 03:39

It is very upsetting, OP, but possibly more for you than for him. Today I was remembering the playground in my primary school and the times that I had no-one to play with. It is a long time ago but I don't remember being overly upset by it, it would have been nicer having someone to play with, but I was able to entertain myself.

Jaded2004 · 08/04/2015 13:50

Thanks cyoacan. You're probably right. I'd like to help him though if I can. I know kids and friendships can be really tricky and I still have problems sometimes as an adult but if I can atm him with a few tools to help I'd like to.

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Kleinzeit · 08/04/2015 18:02

Hi jaded, it is heartbreaking for us when our kids are stuck on their own. My DS has an Asperger’s diagnosis and has issues with friendship, though a bit different from your son’s. I like this book which has chapters on different issues and lots of practical suggestions for parents to help – you might find the chapter on “The Shy Child” helpful.

Jaded2004 · 09/04/2015 01:46

Klein thank you! I'll have a good look.

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