Crying, unsettled baby - please help.

[Pandasandmonkeys]

Dd is 4 months and has always been a bit of a high needs baby. She's very, very fussy, cries easily and needs to be picked up/change activity/position every 5-10 minutes. She fights naps and it often takes longer to get her off to sleep than the duration of the nap. Her relationship with DH is awful :-( she won't be comforted by him at all, and sometimes being with him causes or worsens the upset and she becomes inconsolable. Understandably, he's very upset and frustrated by this. I'm breastfeeding and feel completely tied to her 24/7. She still wants to feed, though hunger or comfort, every 2 hours, some times more. She refuses a bottle of expressed milk. My mum is very nervous about looking after her as she cries so much. I'm supposed to be doing some keeping in touch days at work in a couple of weeks (I'm really looking forward to a little normality) and mum has agreed I have her, reluctantly. But I don't know if it's fair to mum or dd if she's not 100% comfortable taking care of her?

I also have a 2.5 year old ds, who is really suffering now as dd is so demanding of my time. DH and my mum are both trying to fill the gap for him but he misses his mummy and it's breaking my heart. He was such a calm, contented, happy baby, I don't know what I've done wrong with dd?

I'm so exhausted and feeling very emotional all the time. I'm keeping a brave face with my family as they all feel so helpless with her, so if I can't be there for her 24/7 there's no one else who can care for her. I'm terrified of getting ill incase I can't fulfil her needs.

I'm starting to feel very lost and isolated now. I don't know what else to do.

Any advice would be much appreciated - thank you x

Ps: for my keeping in touch days the plan is for my mum to bring her to me for feeds; work is 10 mins drive from home.

My ds was exactly like this after a calm dd ... was really hard. he started puking up all the time at about 4 months old. After trying lots of things I think in the end he had reflux. Only problem was I couldn't get the gaviscon into him as he was ebf and spat it all out.
Not helpful I know but wondering if your ds has something like this underlying....
My DS just suddenly got better at around 6 months old ... maybe his stomach valve had matured or something but he suddenly became happier. I feel terrible now that he suffered so long. Maybe ask your Dr to check for reflux? (Might not be that though.) Good luck back at work.

If you can afford it try this woman. Rozanne Hay. She does more than just sleep training. So don't be put off by the title. She is an absolute genius and one of the most compassionate, warm amazing people I have been lucky to come across.
www.babysleeprescue.co.uk
We had her as a maternity nurse but I know she does consultations over the phone or e mail which work out a lot cheaper. My daughter was horrendous for the first 2 months. Always crying unless held by me (and she had to be held standing up, once settled I would try and sit down - the crying would start again), wouldn't sleep even though she was exhausted etc. I felt like a complete failure as nothing I seemed to do would calm her for long or get her to sleep. This was a completely new experience to that which I had with my son who is 2 years older and was a ridiculously easy baby - not that we appreciated it at the time! I can report (at 4&1/2 months) after Rozanne sorted her sleep patterns and feeding she is a different baby. She wakes once during the night. Is incredibly contented, is always smiling and hardly ever cries and we are a very happy family of four now. You can get there too. Good luck xx

I have a baby the similar age with similar issues. It is very very hard (hug to you).

My baby as silent reflux which is the pain of normal reflux without the spitting up. Most of the symptoms you mention plus I can hear the regurgitation. Will hardly ever lie flat.

Could it be that?

If I have tried a lot of stuff - if you decide it is silent reflux and you want to know details then just PM me

Hi, thanks for all the replies. I was really feeling at my wits end last night after 4 hours of trying to get her down for the night. She slept 11-2:30 in her own cot, but wouldn't settle after that and slept in with us, on and off the boob all night. I considered silent reflux when she was tiny but it was dismissed by midwives, HVs and gp @ 6 week check. But I've just found this check list of symptoms and dd fits the bill for each one:

-Very unsettled feeder, often from birth,bobs on and of breast or bottle. Squirmy and crying out while feeding. May feed for short burst then bob of teat or breast, reluctant to return to feeding.
-Feeding constantly, very little gaps between feeds.
-Rapid weight gain due to constant feeding.
-Lots of comments on how alert they are and what great head control your child has.
-Farting more than burping as often very difficult to wind.
-Prefers to sleep on you than to lie in crib, changing mat etc, screaming each time you try to lie them down.
-Gurgling, rumbling sounds coming from tummy, often just as you start to feed or when you pick up in the middle of the night.
-Explosive strong smelling nappies.
-You child looks like they are frowning and have a serious little face!
-Sneezing or hiccupping a lot!

Going to call the drs today xx

Wish I'd seen that list when ds was little. Hope you get some help. Let up know how you get on at the Dr?

Hi, dr agreed that it sounds like silenr reflux and prescribed gaviscon. She was pretty happy this afternoon after the 1st dose :)
Fingers crossed x

Oh good (well not good, but great you are seeing improvement)

Don't be afraid to get something stronger e.g. Ranitidine if the Gaviscon doesnt work

hi just wanted to add to the thread that if gaviscon doesn't work for you thereis one called zoton that dr can prescribe. gaviscon worked for my ds1 but not ds2 who is now on zoton. a friend told me about the rathidine but dr said they r not authorised to prescribe it to children but will do if parents r happy with that.

*ranitidine

Thanks everyone. She's been so much happier today!! even spent the morning at a friends house for out toddlers to play and apart from getting upset when she was over tired and hungry she didn't cry or fuss at all!!! Woohoo!! And she was passed around amongst friends - amazing! Really hope it wasn't a fluke!
Feeling really guilty that she's been suffering for 4 months now though

That's brilliant. Don't feel guilty though bloody health visitors should have recognised it and helped you both earlier. Sounds like a great start though!

My first thought when I saw the title of your thread was 'silent reflux'. My dd is 2 months old and has silent reflux. Dr prescribed Losec and improvement was almost immediate, although she does still have some bad days.

I was interested to see your list of symptoms - I didn't realise symptoms 4, 5 and 6 were suggestive for silent reflux, DD ticks all three of them!

The improvement continues :) she's doing really well and is so much happier. Still has bad moments but such a huge improvement

She's only on 2 doses a day at the moment which I'm giving morning and evening, but I think she needs 3 ( one in the afternoon) as she starts to get very grumpy again after her midday nap. Yesterday she burped then screamed in pain afterwards :( the gaviscon has worn off by the afternoon and ages suffering again

She's, not ages!

Super news to hear... sounds like you are both happier. Our. be a massive relief.

*must be a massive relief