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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What is normal behaviour/play for a 8/9 year old?

19 replies

stripeycat13 · 06/04/2015 23:01

Is believing cars and objects have feelings ok? all toys still have feelings our family car ect. Still believes in santa, tooth fairy,easter bunny steadfastly.My son gets fixated on things he likes the look/feel of. Today he took a rubber in the car but it can be any random object or bit of rubbish. His play I feel is young for his age lots of imaginary games with cars,explosion noises ect.I just want to know what others his age are typically like.

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CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 06/04/2015 23:04

DS is 9 and is wobbly on Santa etcetera

He gets very sentimental about his stuffed toys and sneakily enjoys playing imagination games with his little sister and her dolls

But is equally happy charging around the rugby field

yellowdaisies · 06/04/2015 23:08

I think to play that objects have feelings and magical things exist is very normal, and healthy at that age. But most children by 8 or 9 can also snap out of it and tell what's real and what's fantasy. It's not common to genuinely believe in the tooth fairy by 9 certainly.

AtSea1979 · 06/04/2015 23:12

DS is 9 and pretty much as you described. But why are you so concerned about what's "normal"? Isn't your DS allowed to be himself without being put in to some sort of category?

IMurderedStampyLongnose · 06/04/2015 23:14

I'm not so sure,my 9yo and a lot of his friends seem to genuinely believe in things like the tooth fairy.They also would make explosion sounds etc when playing.However they also can act very teenage like at times,and you can see the growth in them from how they used to be.I don't think your DS sounds terribly babyish.

Ludways · 06/04/2015 23:17

Perfectly normal, my 9 yo dd can cuddle her toys and chat to them but knows they don't actually have feelings, it's merely play and a bit of a laugh.
She also likes playing with blutack as she likes the feeling.

AtomicDog · 06/04/2015 23:19

My 9yo believes in FC/tooth fairy etc, will take a cuddly in the car, etc, but my 6yo doesn't. They're all different. I don't think either have ever ascribed feelings to inanimate objects though, but it doesn't sound so far-fetched.

YolandiFuckinVisser · 06/04/2015 23:21

Dd (8) spent a lot of time & effort today telling us all about fairyland and what happens there. She knows because she is actually a winter fairy from fairyland & so knows exactly what goes on there.

Santa etc are definitely 100% real and anybody who says otherwise is deluded.

I don't know if this is normal, she's happy though & i feel this is most important.

TheoriginalLEM · 06/04/2015 23:24

my dd is very similar. is obsessed with "the guys" a collection of toys that are brought down every morning and taken back to her bedroom, covered with items of clothing and then arranged on her pillow at bed-time. One of the "guys " is a snake made from a pipe cleaner. I worry about ocd sometimes. school say its normal

birkiekid · 06/04/2015 23:32

Sounds similar to my dd who will be 9 soon. Still believes in Santa, tooth fairy and even the easter bunny. She had a bit of a wobble about Santa last year but once Christmas came round her faith was restored.

She has a little club of soft toys that she is very attached to and will sometimes bring one in the car. If she sleeps over at MIL's she takes them all.

She plays very complicated imagination driven games with dd2.

On the other hand she is very interested in the news, nature programs, science etc.

At this age I think they are a bit of a conundrum. Still quite babyish at times and surprisingly grown up at others.

Northernlurker · 06/04/2015 23:38

That sounds a lot like my nearly 8 yr old too. Games using imagination are a good thing. I played one particular imaginary game with my sister (we had a whole universe set up basically) well in to my early teens.

Original poster

stripeycat13 · 06/04/2015 23:39

Thanks Im not trying to categorize him or obcessed with whats normal(he verymuch gets to be himself) but we all like to hear from others what peers are doing as a kind of bench mark. He has sensory issues and has had problems with learning ie dyslexia, auditory processing issues. he is very bright and enquiring but he gets very controlling and attaches a lot of feelings to objects, becomes obcessed with things I worry there is more happening than I am helping him with. I wanted to know what behaviours are normal for his age as he has been home ed for 18 months(due to bullying and lack of support) and kids in mainstream I often hear of not believing in much by 8/9.iam thinking of trying him again in school but don't want him ridiculed for being young for his age. He seems young compared with a few we know.

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butterfly2015 · 06/04/2015 23:44

My youngest is 9 and has spent the last three days being a cat. She has ears and a tail and crawls round the house saying meow and purring. She has also played minecraft, watched tv, been to the beach, cuddled her bear and asked lots of complicated "why" questions.

birkiekid · 06/04/2015 23:49

My dd has sensory issues too. In some ways she does seem younger than her classmates but not so much that it causes her problems.

I really think kids are expected to grow up too quickly now. Two years ago my friend with a similar age dd said she was glad her dd was finished playing with toys and more interested in electronics etc. I was shocked. They were 6 then!

My dd has some of the same traits you describe. She gets very attached to things. She wears the same things over and over. She was really upset when I was thinking of changing my car.

Luckily she has never been singled out as being 'different' although she is aware that she has different feelings about clothes, sounds etc than her friends.

My dd benefited a lot from Play Therapy when she was younger.

odyssey2001 · 07/04/2015 00:31

I think the key thing here is that he has been home educated for 18 months. Children often move on in life based on interactions with their peers. There are lots of social leaps that occur around the age of your son and he may have missed out without that hive mentality children naturally engage in. They seat opinions and are swayed themselves. That lack of regular contact with classmates may mean that the bubble for him hasn't burst yet. It will come naturally but it normally happens sooner when children are part of a collective.

odyssey2001 · 07/04/2015 00:31

They SWAY opinions...

Pandasandmonkeys · 07/04/2015 00:38

I have worked with children for 12 years and have know a lot of 8-9 year olds. Many, many still believe in Santa, tooth fairy (those that say they don't often do deep down when you talk to the 1-1) and imaginative play and making 'explosion' noises is also very normal and common at this age. Try not to worry.

TheoriginalLEM · 07/04/2015 16:19

Thanks for this thread op. i feel reassured that my dd is just being 9

girliefriend · 07/04/2015 21:07

My dd is 9yo and agree with pp who said its a funny inbetween age, she sometimes seems very young and at other times wanting more independence and to be more grown up.

She plays all the time with playmobil, lego and sylvainian families, still takes a soft toy around with her but also likes playing out on her bike/ scooter.

I would rather she was a bit 'young' for age than grew up too quickly.

She walked into my room the other day and declared the Easter bunny wasn't real so I said 'well I suppose you are getting a bit older now,' her face was and then ended up completely back tracking!!

Original poster

stripeycat13 · 22/04/2015 16:22

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