Where to go for advice?

[Gr33dyeggs]

I'm mum to a ds of 6. I admit I'm fiery but my son refuses to do anything we ask. We have positive reinforcement and also take things off him when it gets too bad. He's recently started lashing out at us and I'm finding it hard not to hit back.

He's too old for hv help isn't he? Do I go to the gp and say how I'm feeling? Or ask school about parenting class?

My OH despairs of us arguing and I just want a happy family.

He's generally lovely at school and with friends & neighbours but a horror with us.

This sounds contradictory if you don't mind me saying. "I admit I'm fiery but my son refuses to do anything we ask. We have positive reinforcement and also take things off him when it gets too bad"

If "He's generally lovely at school and with friends & neighbours but a horror with us." It seems you are giving out the wrong signals and he sounds frustrated.

Keep calm at all times as you are a role model.

Use the 'broken record' when requesting him to do something and ignore his wind-ups.

LOADS of praise and hugs for compliance.

Don't ever remove a reward once given. He earned that with hard work.

Would the above tips help?

Your School Nurse should be able to provide support/guidance around behavioural issues, ask the school to make a referral or give them a ring yourself. In my area what usually happens is the nurse will arrange to see you in clinic for an assessment, then they will hand over to a support worker who can work with you and your DS at home. They may also refer you to parenting classes.

Thanks both. It probably is my fault.
We have always praised him when he does well - he's turned around and said 'I know I'm good/clever blah blah, shut up! ' I've tried to start at basics again - stars for teeth, hair, meals, tidying and he just doesn't care. So I took the I pad away. He needs stars to get it back.

I think I need help wotsup I just can't ignore his behaviour and stay calm.

I'll try really hard over easter hols and if there's no improvement I'll get help from school. I did start asking discreetly last term, but they couldn't believe he was like that!

Thanks again.

Hey. I bet he wasn't born clutching an instruction book was he Gr33..? You are struggling like I did when mine were small. Don't beat yourself up. It does sound as if you need a bit of family support and guidance. Be strong and stick together as parents till he gets through this stage.