DS can be a lovely boy, really helpful, likes cuddles, generally polite and helpful. He suffers from anxiety, the most obvious symptom of which is selective mutism (though slowly improving with lots of help from school), and I suspect the rages and stubbornness are probably related - or are many 7/8 year olds like this? I had hoped he would grow out of it but no sign yet.
He will eg spend an hour drawing a lovely picture, then some small detail won't quite turn out how he wants, and he'll then rip it up in frustration - then proceed to eg break a toy, tear up something else as well or lash out at one of us. And for the next half hour or more will refuse to do anything he is asked to do (eat his tea, get in the bath, put away his pens, play a game, etc). No amount of telling him it doesn't matter will stop it happening, and I've learnt that giving him any attention once he has started makes it worse so I ignore him once he's got to that point - but not sure whether that is really helping to stop it in the future. If he breaks his own things then that's his problem (and he's often upset about it the next day). If he breaks someone else's things or hurts them then he will get some form of punishment (eg taking away screen time or pocket money or treat).
He is so stubborn in other situation as well - once he has decided not to do something, he will not change his mind - whether it's have breakfast, go to a friend's party, play the game the rest of the family are playing.
I wonder it's just anxiety about things not being perfect, or about looking silly if he changes his mind. Any ideas of what I can do to help him?