4yr old preoccupation with death and dying

[NovemberAli]

FIL and DH's nan both died within the last 18 months. We explained to DD (3at the time) what happened to them and why we couldn't see them again.
Since then she has asked lots and lots of questions about dying, which I know is natural but it seems to have developed into a preoccupying fear of death. She was talking tonight again at bedtime about how she didn't want to die, I tried.telling her she didn't have to worry, but she said she worries about it all the time

Any advice on what to tell her or experience of dealing with this? I bought her badger's parting gifts after reading about it on here but it's not really helped.

My 4yo and a couple of friends' 4yos are the same!

I keep letting her talk about it, we play games about it with her dolls, I explain different beliefs and that we don't really know what happens because no-one has ever come back and told us what death and being dead is like. I said it's unlikely to happen to any of us yet as we are not very very old.

Listen, validate any fears, reassure, repeat. That's all I can do!

The only advice is not to take her to see the new Cinderella! Very sad and realistic scenes of mum dying, followed by dad, followed by Prince Charmings Dad! My dd (5) has struggled after watching this, and to be honest I was in floods when the mum died.

Thank you, I suppose I knew there was no easy answer, it's so upsetting to see her so sad and scared, I'll just keep trying to reassure her. And thanks for the tip about Cinderella, I think we'll give that one a miss for a while!

I remember as a child being terrified of the thought of death, mainly my mum or sister, all linked to my parents separating when I was 4. I didn't talk to anyone about it, I think one of the best things you can do is listen to her, you don't have to have the answers but let her talk about it, sounds like you're doing great with this :) I'm sure I've seen books to help you tackle/discuss the subject through stories with young children, maybe a Google search would help with this.

If it helps I grew out of it to an extent, it's still something I often think about but in a much more normal healthy way.

We just watched an episode of Katie Morag about a sick sheep that dealt really well with animals and people dying (I thought), she sat and watched it really thoughtfully, am prepared for many more questions when she's had time to digest it. I'm glad she does talk and not keep it bottled up, but hope she can stop feeling so worried all the time.