How did you get help with LO behavioural probs?

[MilkshakeMonkey]

Ok, I won't bore you with the details but basically...
DS, 5, is generally very angry, violent, hyper active. Can't cope with lack of structure (he does great at school with the learning structured bit, but not free play. He's in reception so a fair amount of play)
We are under SENCO at school (who have been great), but school have now said they have concerns and recommended seeing gp

Went yesterday and didn't seem interested. Said before they would consider referral they would need evidence from home, school teacher and school nurse. Of course it being school holidays, means I can't get most of this for another 2 weeks. They asked what I thought was wrong with him ! She said most of it sounded like a 5year old.

I need help. He regularly reduces me to tears. His behaviour is disturbing family life.

Is this normal of docs to ask for all of this?
Is there nothing I can do to move things along faster (I imagine the referral alone will take ages)?
I've read SO many books on positive parenting!

I can't speak on school matters (DCs are pre-schoolers), and no expert on the finer details of referrals, but, the way we got referrals and help was first contacting our local children's centre, giving a brief explanation of our concerns - so you might say, eg, 'DS is 5 and is prone to anger, violence and hyperactivity' - and asked who could help for referrals/signposting. The centre has a Family Practitioner available once a week so we met her, said the same thing, and she sent off all of the letters for specialist groups/assessments. The Family Practitioner isn't supposed to be an expert, but just aware of various issues and expectations in order to then refer to the relevant places. For us, this led to an initial assessment, which then led to an 'entry level' group to see if simple strategies would help, and now we are receiving more specialised referrals and support.

I think most councils have Children & Young People's Services, Community Health Service, Family Information Service... things like this. If you can find some details for one of these types of agencies in your local authority then hopefully you would be able to contact them and go direct to seeking or booking a referral with whoever manages issues surrounding additional needs and behaviour etc. In my personal experience, I have found that sometimes there can be a wealth of services available but that unfortunately the route to accessing them can be confusing and complicated, so if you are able to get to it as directly as possible it can help a lot. Good luck

Thanks jaunty.
Our children's center has been closed down, but I will investigate Children's & Young people's services

Hi
I am having a similar problem with my nearly 5yr old son. He is under senco at school but as yet we haven't been asked to seek a diagnosis from a medical professional. Have you tried contacting your health visitor? When my little one started having problems at school I was so worried and contacted my health visitor. She was fantastic and very supportive. She visited at home so she could observe him and also asked me to complete a questionnaire about his learning and development. If there were areas of concern then I presume she would be able to support a referral to the relevant team. If your son has a SEN support plan could you give a copy of this to the GP as evidence. Not sure if is helpful but I can really understand what you are going through. I hope you get the support you need and keep me updated with how you get on Good luck

Sympathies Referrals can be hard to come by and 2 weeks is neither here nor there in the system - though it is for us parents! My DS was having violent tantrums at school – and I mean really violent, to the point where the school nearly excluded him at five years old – and we still spent 6 months on a waiting list. So do get the documentation from the school when you can and keep nagging the GP. And ask for support from your HV too. It all helps.

In the meantime, if your DS is very angry and temperamental and disruptive at home, and if rewards and consequences etc only seem to make the rages worse, you might find “Explosive Child” helpful. It isn’t based on any particular diagnosis and I found it especially helpful when I knew something wasn’t right for my DS but I had no idea what. (My DS was eventually diagnosed with Asperger’s, he also needs structure and he struggled with free play. Doesn’t mean that your DS has the same thing, of course.)

I hope you and your DS get the help you need. It isn't easy but you are taking the right steps for him.