How to cope with my autistic sons behaviour in public?

[Shootingstar2289]

My son is 4, and awaiting an autism diagnosis. At home, he is very well behaved. But in public he tests my patience so much:

1. He just runs off without warning. In shops, he could be stood still and then all of a sudden he bolts off. I ran and grab him and tell him off but, he just does it again. At the local theme park, he could be playing on one thing - gets off - then runs without letting me know. I used to be able to run fast after him but being pregnant slows me down a little.

1. He hates waiting in queues and screams if he has to wait. He doesn't get the idea of shops. When theshop assistant takes our items, he screams like she's state along them - and its a very high pitched scream.

1. He's obesssed with pressing buttons and machines - cash machines, door opening buttons, parking ticket machines, arcade machines and vending machines. He screams when I take him away.

I'm often in tears after a day out, we go out and about quite a lot. You'd thig he would learn by now.

We went to a theme park today. He was playing so nicely then just runs off to go In the amusement arcade. And screamed when I wouldn't let him have pennies.

Any advice?

My dd(5) has ds (poss asd). She can't actually walk that well, so we use a buggy still and reins. Crowds and waiting are not good, at least in the buggy I know she is safe. We had a few nightmares at school fairs over Christmas - not again! School use now and next boards with her successfully. SN boards a good idea too.

I'd just try to avoid these situations whenever possible.

We are lucky now there is online shopping etc so you can get things done without taking DS into these stressful situations.

Is he at nursery/school? I'd try to do anything you can't do online when he is at nursery/school.

If theme parks are that bad just don't go. It's not the end of the world. If he's happy going to parks/woods stick to those calming environments.

If you are pregnant now you need to plan for how you will manage DS plus a pram and eventually another DC who will run off in the opposite direction at the same time!

Where is his dad in this? If he is more able to run after him then let him take DS to 'difficult' places.

Frusso The Comm Paed told us that the only reason my DS has issues, was due to parenting issues. ..so it is offical all my fault But I am trying to be positive, that I might be able to improve DS behaviour or at least stop him hurting me. Plus as a treat we have today....so all is well.

Wine for later, when kiddies are tucked up in bed.

Have you asked for a second opinion Babies?

I don't want to crash OP's thread.

Don't worry, I am following Comm paed recommendation to repeat parenting course in the hope that this makes DS a friend, helps him sleep/listen/follow instructions/take turns, reduce the toilet accidents and reduce the mainly unintentional injuries to me. Didn't work last time but it is all I have got..so back into the fray I go.

Babies, if your ds has sn then an ordinary parenting course may not meet his needs. I went on a Challenging Behaviour course run by Contact a Family for children with SN and disabilities. I'm an experienced teacher but dd2's behaviour needs a different approach . We were also referred to a specialist sleep clinic too.I think a 2nd opinion would help you.

I need to go and attempt to get her to tidy up. Sigh.

I couldn't recommend portage enough. But here they stop at 4yrs or younger if your dc does more than so many hours pre - school. Our local Scope ran the sleep clinic and behaviour courses, also what about local Children's Development Unit. Ours does behaviour courses and support.

Backpack and wrist strap are our saviours.

Explaining things beforehand helps

Bribing with chocolate in queues helps a bit.

Most of all you need to develop tunnel vision and a thick skin so you don't look at anyone or care what they think because sad,y the general public is judgy and not understanding , in the main, IME.