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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can your 4 year old dress themselves?

32 replies

MishMooshAndMogwai · 30/03/2015 10:32

She's only just 4 and maybe I have unrealistic expectations but ALL of her friends aged 3-5 can dress themselves and have been for some time.

She can manage trousers but pants, socks, tops, jumpers and shoes all end in tears and tantrums.

We've had the 'lessons' making a game out of it and having fun with it and ive just plain shouted at her for not getting ready in a morning when we're in a rush.

Should she be doing it by now? She's gonna have to get ready for PE by herself in September and she can't even put socks on!

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Zebda · 30/03/2015 10:37

DS is 4.5. He can dress himself, and understands it's one of his 'jobs' to do so. He does need monitoring though as things do get put on inside-out/back to front! and frequently forgets the pants! I would say at just turned 4 he couldn't quite manage it, but we've worked together each morning and over the last few months has got there. Don't worry, September is a way off, she'll get there by then I'm sure, just persevere with the positive reinforcement.

He is a master at taking clothes off, and has been for a very long time, regularly strips for no reason

Haggisfish · 30/03/2015 10:41

Yes but socks and tights are still tricky. She only got really good at it when she went to school and had to do it after pe. They do help them to start with you know!

FernGullysWoollyPully · 30/03/2015 10:50

Yes, she only has difficulties with shoes going on the wrong feet! The nursery that my all dc went to required them to dress themselves at 3, I always felt kind of guilty about it because she's one of the youngest in the year and they only get help if they are totally stuck. She's gotten much better since school where they get no help whatsoever.

BertieBotts · 30/03/2015 11:14

Can't or won't? :) DS could by three but at four it was easier to dress him because of the histronics. However he managed perfectly fine at school. He dresses himself now (6) and would not dream of having help.

ToysRLuv · 30/03/2015 14:05

DS 5.6 can't and won't. He can do bits on his own, but putting on tops often end up with him getting angry. He has slight gross motor delays, though, and a diffucult personality to boot. I'm mainly dressing him, as I don't wang to have a huge battle about it. I don't kniw any adults who aren't disable who can't dress themselves, so thus will resolve at some point, when his motor skills catch up a bit and he gets more motivated to do things on his own.

ToysRLuv · 30/03/2015 14:06

Jeez, sorry for multiple typos! Fat fingers on tiny keyboard..

MrsCosmopilite · 30/03/2015 14:16

DD can at 4.2, she's been dressing herself for a while (probably since about 3.6) but can sometimes struggle with tights or thicker fabric jeggings.

We're aiming for being able to get shoes, coat, hat on and done up, and be able to deal with all toilet functions on her own by Sept.

vvviola · 30/03/2015 14:17

DD2 (3.5) can, mostly. DD1 at a similar age was less able.

What I was told was that it was easier for them, and less likely to end in panic/tantrum/general chaos, if you start them off and let them finish. So instead of helping them out if they get stuck, you would for example, put the tshirt over their heads and get them to do the arms themselves. Apparently it gives them the confidence because they finished it themselves, rather than getting stuck and having to be helped out.

ToysRLuv · 30/03/2015 14:34

Yes, the way to do it is to do a bit for them to get them started, e.g. shirt over head, then reduce your involvement in stages until the moaning and tantrums become unbearable and you get stuck

PiratePanda · 30/03/2015 18:21

Yes. He miles prefers not to

Original poster

MishMooshAndMogwai · 30/03/2015 18:52

Ah thanks for the tip, I'll try that with PJs tonight as a starter!

I don't know if it's a case of can't or won't but she gets 5% of the way with everything and has a tantrum with this god awful whine that only seems to accompany getting dressed!

A nursery my friend works at Ha's getting dressed classes for those about to go up to reception- whilst sounding a little dubious as they have rows of 3/4 year olds getting dressed and undressed all at once- I think it's a great idea and wish DDs nursery did the same!

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Ineedacleaningfairy · 30/03/2015 19:19

My 2 year old is at the stage of just starting to dress himself, he can do baggy clothes and soft/big socks, I think choosing the clothes carefully you ask the child to put on is a good way to do it, we started off with soft baggy pjs and really soft stretchy socks.

LittleLionMansMummy · 30/03/2015 20:45

Yes. Whether he chooses to oblige or not is a different issue though.

Pico2 · 30/03/2015 22:34

My 4.5yo can - 6 months makes a massive difference. Sometimes things go on back to front. I try to make sure that she has clothes and shoes that are easy to do. The biggest motivator for my DD is telling her that she will need to be able to do these things when she goes to school.

Tigresswoods · 30/03/2015 22:36

Can he? Oh yes

Does he want to? Oh no

Original poster

MishMooshAndMogwai · 30/03/2015 22:41

It worked a little tonight although she was freshly bathed and its always a little more tricky when you're a bit damp and don't want wet hair in your pyjamas isn't it?

I'll definitely keep that tip in mind and persevere over the easter break. Maybe by the start of term we'll have turned a corner with it!

Thank you everyone :)

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Ediemccreedy · 30/03/2015 22:42

Not a chance. 7 year old went to school last week with trousers back to front.

Harverina · 30/03/2015 22:48

My 4 year old can but I would need to fix her and tuck her in properly etc.

She generally likes me to help her.

cate16 · 30/03/2015 23:08

Lots of dressing up clothes to play with during the day.

Sapat · 30/03/2015 23:09

DS can (4.5 in reception) but DD struggled at the same age and only managed it in year 1.

Almostapril · 30/03/2015 23:12

Yes but often DD wants me to do it! Stickers and rewards if done properly. By that I mean whole uniform on correctly !! ( polo, jumper and trousers)

odyssey2001 · 31/03/2015 07:47

Son could dress himself by 3.1 because we refused to dress him (lots of strops if we tried). Chucked him in the deep end.

GoogleyEyes · 31/03/2015 07:57

Yes, but things need to be the right way round and she can't do zips or most buttons. We're working on zips, bottom wiping and turning inside out things the right way round again in time for YR.

Original poster

MishMooshAndMogwai · 31/03/2015 10:59

Ooo yes I think she'd like a sticker chart although maybe once she's mastered it a little first or it might just exaserbate things!

OP posts:

Annietheacrobat · 31/03/2015 12:10

Yes when it suits. Has trouble taking tops off over her head.

Having a race against her 20 month old sister sometimes helps.

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