does your 5 yr old show sympathy for others?

[kizzie]

Hello (sorry switching between here and special needs thread.

As Ive put in other posts my DS twins have always been very active/ handful but Ive been worried recently thats there is something more to it so apologies for the hundreds of q's ive been asking.

Anyway my mum was taken into hospital yesterday and when I told them they were both quite inquisitve (why/where's the hospital) but no evidence of being upset/sad about it.

Obviously I dont want them to be upset but was just wondering whether most children this age show sympathy/empathy if someone else is poorly/ upset?
Kizziex

DD shows sympathy now (she's only 2yo) but DS doesn't... think it might be a boy-girl thing?

I would have thought is pretty much borderline as to "the average child". As far as a straw poll is concerned:

DS2 (5 next week) would show sympathy. But he is quite adept socially, and very understanding of other children.
DS1 definitely wouldn't at that age, and doesn't always do so now (he's nearly 7). He's very slow to see anything from anyone else's point of view!

i don't think children that age understand what going into hospital means or how serious it can be,they'll show simpathy if they see you bleeding or falling over but if you tell them that you're not well they don't seem to care,mine are 6 and nearly 4 so i don't know when they start to understand
hope your mum gets better soon kizzie

Thankyou for the replies!
Really interested to hear your views.
Kizziex

Do they know your mum well?

My ds (just 5) would have loads of questions about all the facts, whoever it was; but if it was daddy's daddy (ie, the grandparent favourite) the sole issue would be will he be all right. Dd (3 and a half) would ask the will he/she be all right question first & once reassured not be very interested in the details.

Neither would think to ask how anyone else feels about it.

On empathy, I've just been dealing with a dd tantrum and ds came running upstairs saying "what is it [dd name]? mummy what are you doing to her?" (eek, wasn't doing anything other than being boring "you need to go to bed now" parent). I think that'll do as evidence of empathy.

More seriously, I am sorry about your mum, and I do hope it isn't a worry.

Thanks Binkie - my mum has a nasty infection/ blood poisoning and had to go in for intravenous antibiotics. She's not feeling too well but hopefully will be out by weekend.

Although she lives 200 miles away she visits a lot and the boys know her very well.
Kizziex

ds (2.7) would say "xxx sad" or "yyy crying" or "zzz hurt" if he saw another child unhappy/crying/bleeding or whatever, and even go and give them a cuddle, but I don't think he'd have the comprehension of what going in to hospital meant. It's a bit of an abstract thing, rather than something that's happening in front of their eyes, so it probably doesn't seem as real to them.

Kizzie, very best wishes for you all: thank goodness for antibiotics sometimes.

On reflection on your original question, if it were me I think I would also try a prompt: "are you hoping she'll be better soon?" With ds I would get a twitch of eyebrows and a yes - as in oh, that's what I was feeling. With dd I would probably get a withering look.