Suitable punishment for 7yo ds1 who has poured a lot of water.....

[TooTickyTheAppleBobber]

.....into his sister's bed and around her room, destroying a couple of things she has made. Ideas please!

I'd make him sleep in the garden and line up his favourite things so that she could choose three to destroy.

But I only have little children...so ignore me.

Ask him how he would feel if someone came and destroyed some pictures he had painted or some things he had made - try to get him to empathise. Then I think he should help clean up, tell his sister what he has done and do something for her to make up for it.

When he is this age I would try to make him take as much responsibility for his actions as is possible.

he pays her compensation out of his pocket money?

well first up he ought to change all her bedding and wash the stuff that he put water on.

and then i would go down the compensation route as well

Good, good, keep 'em coming...

make him watch the simpson's episode where bart destroys lisa's thanksgiving centerpiece

not getting all pc and all that but have you asked him why he did it as in did she wind him up or something no excuse but I am curious as to why he would think it ok to do this. I have 7yr old Ds and would be shocked if he did this .

He has been "lively" recently to say the least, and he keeps wittering about revenge for some pretty trivial incident which he has already got his own back for several times over
He reminds me of the stereotypical "class clown" at the moment - all naughtiness is funny to him and sitting on the kitchen floor (our equivalent of naughty step) is not having any effect. Nor is talking reasonably. Or shouting. Or saying he will have to miss Beavers.

I would definitely go with the getting him to strip the bed and wash the bedding as part of the punishment. It's such a crappy job anyway isn't it?

Then perhaps he could do all/some of her chores for the week (particularly the boring ones).

And I think he should write her a letter of apology, to really get him to think about the consequences of what he has done and its impact on his sister. The "class clown" thing says to me that you need to concentrate on empathy and understanding impact of his actions.

Oh, and hunker made me pmsl as usual - would love to be round your house in about 5 years!!!

sorry, giggled a little when i read you OP! sounds like something id have done when i was his age!! you say it was a 'trivial incident' that upset him but was it trivial to him?....not excusing what he did, but i know me at that age and i kept on getting my own back until i was satisfied that i was taken seriously!!

I would stand at the bedroom door and watched whilst he cleaned up his mess. I would also take something of his that is precious and ask how he would feel if you destroyed it right now. If he laughed I would take something of his away and shut him in his sister's room until it was tidy. If he still refused to co-operate I'd march him off to bed, no supper and tell him no Beavers either.

I'm pretty strict on the whole! But at 7 he should be listening to you.

Unfortunately, it was already too late for him to strip the bed - dd1 did it herself to minimise damage and soak out as much as poss from the mattress. I suspect she wouldn't have wanted him back in her room in any case.
The "trivial incident" - okay, so it wasn't trivial,she hurt him but he does the same to her SO OFTEN. And, as I said, he had alreadymanaged to avenge himself several times over.
I'm not very good at strict. I mean, I do it, but they don't listen/take me seriously. Feeling like a really shit mum right now.

This hope this doesn't sound too idealist.

I have a 7yo who hasn't done this (yet), but wouldn't surprise me if he did.

Involve both perpetrator + victim in deciding a compensation scheme, to be enforced by you (and really do it). Also I think you should get the 2 of them to sit down and talk about how they could get along better together and not resort to mean behavior to express their frustrations. Let them talk out what happened and why it escalated to property damage. Make sure you point out the different ways both were misbehaving (not just your 7yo as the bad guy). Try to get them to discuss their own future non-destructive solutions, with you acting as mediator. Make them sit there and not get to do anything else until they come up with some constructive ideas.

May have to be repeated several times, but it's teaching them how to cope with angry/cheeky feelings without being horrible.

ps, sorry it's making you feel shite, kids are great at that, aren't they?

Do you think I could do that? He might just sit there grinning and trying to kick her. He can be lovely, but at the mo he is doing an awful lot of naughty thiongs.

i really wasnt having a go at you when i mentioned the 'trivial incident' dont want you to feel like shit, thats a horrible feeling and im sure we have all felt like that at some point. im just going by when i was his age. I was quite naughty but after a while my parents expected me to be naughty. It always turned out that even if my bro or sis did something wrong they were never punished as much as i was for a similar incident (in my then young mind). so as a result, anger made me even naughtier. i really dont know if there is a solution to your problem tho, i dont know if, at 7, he would want to listen. IMO all kids should leave home at 6 and come back at 35!

Sitting trying to kick her... make them sit at opposite ends of the sofa (or even a room) with you inbetween. They aren't allowed to touch you or each other or get off the sofa or do anything else before they've talked through everything.

Adopt this mantra... "I am a dragon mama, I am an ogre, I am a dragon mama, I am an ogre...." and act out that part.

how old is his sister? how did you punish her for hurting him? WAS she punished?

We have recently started a family rule where, when my children wind each other up or fight they have one warning then they have to give the other a £1... son has given DD about £3 this month for winding her up or teasing her... DD doesn't tolerate teasing much and tends to go into screaming mode quite quickly..
he sees the signs now and backs off... if they continue to fight they have to give us £1 each...
this is a recent thing that we started about a month ago and we were sure we would get a weekend away.. paid for by the kids but they haven't given us any money... yet...

We also have family rules where we all sat down and discussed what would make us all happy.. there was the usual, no fighting, kicking, screaming... etc... we all signed it and its stuck on the fridge...

I'm not sure how the £1 thing would work for you... but you have my sympathies...

tooticky, I am rubbish at 'punishments' and my ds is much younger so I can't suggest much, I just wanted to echo the thought behind Alexmummy's post - was it clear to your DS that his sister had a consequence for hurting him?

I totally understand that you say he hurts her all the time, etc; but my DH (who has worked many years in a boy's senior school and knows what makes boys tick, I reckon) says that fairness and justice becomes INCREDIBLY important to boys. People being seen to 'get away' with things, or punishments not applied equally to all, make the boys go MAD my DH says!

I just wonder if your DS' actions were to do with this; doubtless he doesn't have it in him to think "Oh, well my sis did hurt me but I've hurt her loads in the past so maybe I'll let it go"!! Kids just deal with the here and now, and live in the moment....

Going on my DH's observations your DS would need your house rules/punishments to be crystal clear and very consistently applied.

Personally, missing out the punishment aspect of it cos I am crap at that, I would definitely have a chat with him about how upset his sis is that he has ruined the things she made, and that it would be really really nice of him to make her a little something himself. I wouldn't 'Make' him do it or stand over him while he did it, just have the chat and ask him what he thinks she would like from him; and encourage him to do it rather than make it a forced thing. It would be lovely for their emotional connection with eachother if he does it himself.

My Ds is a bit younger (age 5), but when he and a friend completely trashed his room a few weeks ago (nothing permanent, just every single toy tipped out on the floor and all over the landing, and they had gone in my room) then I made him tidy it up and I cancelled tea at a friend's house the following week.
Cancelling an invite to a friend's house or not letting him go to football are the only things that get through to him.
Good Luck!

It's okay, Ellesbells, I didn't think you were having a go at me - just feeling pretty shitty anyway, and with a touch of something fluey so not much energy to deal with things. Initially, he losthis beavers, ut then he was SO good this morning, carrying very heavy shopping for me and no moaning, that I said he could have his beavers back if he was good for the rest of the day, tidied his room and put the fresh bedding back on dd1's bed (when it dries!)
Dd1 is 10, and yes she was punished for hurting him.
Ho hum, it's not easy, is it?

its not easy is an understatement!! sorry your feeling ill . hope your better soon! so glad he was good today! it shows there is a heart there somewhere!! tho i know (with mine anyway) its hard to believe sometimes. why do they always play up when we are feeling low? or is it that it just gets to us more!!! my mates kids are absolute angels think i might send mine round there for lessons!!

Other people's children always seem better behaved but perhaps we justnever see the bad bits. Btw, ds1 followed up this morning's saintly behaviour with one of the biggest tantrums I have ever seen But then sometimes he does sweet things like asking if one of his Christmas presents can be a £5 donation to the Red Cross[damp-eyed emoticon]