my ds is rejecting my mum,sorry long

[polly28]

He is 19 months and my parents are visiting from Canada for ten days.We last saw them in Canada 11 months ago so obviously he can't remember them.

Well ,this visit he has taken to my dad ,sits on his lap,talks to him,asks to be picked up etc.My dad is delighted as children normally flock to my mum and he doesn't get a look in.However my mum ,initially found it amusing ,is hurt and sad that her grandson won't interact with her.The fact that it's a short visit makes it worse .

I can't understand it as my mum is very like me to look at ,is great with kids.Does she ignore him and wait to see if he comes to her ,or do we maybe put the two together and see what happens.

polly - funnily enough, my ds was very similar with his grandma & granddad when he was about that age even though he visited them more frequently. Was very much Granddad's little grandson and practically ignored Grandma (although fortunately my MIL didn't let it bother her much or at least didn't show it!)

Now he's older, more "interactive" (he's almost 3), and more confident he has a much better equal relationship with the two of them. I think they go through "phases" of relationships at this sort of age - obviously it's horrible for your mum at the moment, but it does get better and can even happen when kids see their grandparents more frequently.

Oh, meant to say, I'd just let them get on with it together but try not to get too upset (I know - easier said than done!) if he doesn't seem interested at the moment.

If your mum is similar to yourself your DS may simply see her as an extension of mummy - there to care for him, make sure his needs are met, etc. Grandad isn't - he is for playing with, stories and cuddles, - for fun.

Have your DS and mum spent anytime on their own together? Maybe doing something special together - like a bath time or bedtme story?

hI Polly! My ds is also 19 mths. We live far from both sets of grandparents so ds sees them maybe 3 time a year. My dad is the real favourite, followed by mother-in-law, then my mum, then father-in-law.

Could your mum maybe take him to the park for an hour or buy him a new book? Then you can talk it up before and after the "trip" - "oh wow - granny's going to take you to the park/going to read you a lovely book! etc etc".

Really difficult when you want your parents to really "appreciate" their grandson. It could be, that grandad is just an exciting new person, whereas like you said, granny is very like you and maybe not such a novelty? Hope it resolves itself and you enjoy your visitors

Posts crossed hulababy!

Great minds?

Forgot to add that my DD (now 24 months) has always aimed straight for both grandads first, over nanas. She really does see her nanas as extra mummies I think.

thanks for your replies,my parents are up in scotland for a few days and coming back to see us on friday so hope ds will be a bit better then.
My mum is called nana,maybe he's confused that she's got the smae name as his favourite fruit!

I want to leave them alone together but worry that it may make things worse.