sore tummy at mealtimes

[naswm]

DS1 (4.3yrs) has always been a good eater. However, over the past month of so he has started to complain of a sore tummy half way through or immediately after eating, especially after breakfast (which happens every day now). I usually suggest that maybe he needs to go to the toilet.

Tonight it happened again half way through his meal. I had cooked something new and wondered if he liked it or not. But he insited he had a sore tummy, so I sent him to off to sit on the toilet. I then threw his tea away. But at that point he got upset and said he was very hungry, and that he didnt have a sore tummy.

I asked him to tell me the truth - did he have a sore tummy, or did he just not like his tea, and he said he didnt know (I have never really had to deal with the truth or lies problem before, because it has never been an issue before).

After a little while he said he was joking, he didnt have a sore tummy, and could he have a yoghurt please. 'Joking' is a new concept to him, although his friends have been doing it for a while. But he said he did have a little tummy ache. Now I am not sure what the truth is!

I have explained I will not be cross if he doesnt like his tea, providing he tries it, I have also reiterated that I will not be cross if he has a sore tummy. I have said, however, that he must never lie about feeling ill.

Is this a thing they go through? I am assuming it is a developmental/behavuioural thing - but maybe not?

TIA

PS I am probably slightly more anxiouos than most about this, as he was born with problems with his bowel, and although it is now repaired, we were told at the time that they did not know what problems he may have as he grew older. Although I doubt there is a connection at all - and I dont usually offer any concessions for his earlier illness!!

Anyone???

My daughter used to also report a "sore tummy" about the same age as you DS (she is now 5.6) when she was asked to try something new, or she would rather play then come to the table for dinner. I would just say, "well if your tummy hurts, go up to your room and lie down" which usually would result in her thinking for a moment, then saying it didn't really hurt that bad.

So could be that or maybe he has some gas? This can be quite painful, so you could enquire on whether his bum "makes noisy" (as DD says). If this is the case, then some gentle massage can help it move through.

Thanks USAUKmum, I dont think it is the same as your dd but it is useful to read about your experiences. My DS1 enjoys meal times, and enjoys new food, and his 'sore tummy' happens even after breakfast cereal, so I dont think it is the type of food particularly.

I am grateful to your reminding me of the 'gas' issue though, and the idea of massage. I hadnt thought of that this time. Thanks again.

when I was young, I became very stressed out at meals,
with his previous bowel issue, are you sure you arent communicating anxiety over to him? apparently kids can be very sensitive? Is he relaxed at mealtimes?

Good point Banana. I dont think I am passing on anxiety, but he seems to be getting stressed. So mayeb it has become habitual, even if it isnt naturally??

try...

having meals in the lounge
letting him choose what everyone is having
getting him to help cook
get him a really special pud if no tummy aches/no jokes
funny food, like the meal arranged into a funny face

Maybe he is picking up on your stress (even if you are only slightly anxious I find they really pick up on it). Try to be really chilled to th epoint of being comatose just as he finishes meals. I maybe that you are unconsiously sending signals -- as you must feel anxious given his past problems.

For the massage: do clockwise circles around the tummy, then an "I love YOu" move which is a stroke down the left side, then across the top and down leftside, then up the right side, across the top then down the left.

Good luck