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Separation anxiety, breastfeeding all hours & sore nipples with a 1 year old - help!!

2 replies

vroomfondle · 25/03/2015 09:07

I have just returned to work 3 days a week and DS is 1 year old. Since starting with the childminder DS is like a limpet at home - very hard to pry him off, he won't cuddle/ be held by others. This, I can deal with, thinking it will get better over time.

It's the nights that are killing me - DS used to sleep from 7-5am waking for one BF before sleeping until 6. Now he wakes constantly through the whole night. I started holding out on breastfeeding him until it turned to 5am but I had 3 nights in a row of being up, rocking him almost the entire night and I can't do that anymore. So I started BFing him again on demand and he is waking up to 5 times a night, sometimes just crying and not wanting the breast, other times sucking for an hour at a time.

Am I doing something wrong or making his separation anxiety worse in some way? I am feeling like a s*it mother tbh and also I'm utterly useless at work as result.

DS - loves the CM - playing and smiling all day, my dad drops him off there and he crawls to CM immediately and is never anxious to leave when my dad picks him up....

Any advice, similar stories and experiences would help- I;m feeling quite alone and sick of friends/family saying- 'ooo he's so clingy now- he used to be so outgoing..' -

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
jwpetal · 25/03/2015 18:50

This is not unusual when returning to work. You have been his world for 9 months in your tummy and then 1 year at home. Just like you, it will take time to adjust. He is happy when you are not there, but realizes how much he misses you when you are back. their brains are not programmed the same as ours. It will take time and as your schedule starts working so will changes happen in your relationship. It is also a bit of ignoring what people say. They probably don't realize the impact of what they are saying.

I had to BF as soon as I saw my little one. I couldn't even get out of the CM house. After a couple of months things settled for all of us. good luck. It will get better.

gubbinsy · 27/03/2015 18:44

I had similar with DS. Now 16 months and much more settled and I can go upstairs without the world ending! I took the decision to just go with it as much as possible although he wasn't feeding as long at night but was waking for long periods. It has got better. I felt that I should do what he needed (within reason) then did start to cut back on night feeds once he seemed a bit more settled.

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