How independent is your young toddler do?

[HJBeans]

Wondering what community experience / opinion is on how independant young toddlers are / should be?

My DS is 19m is still very much the centre of attention at home (very PFB, I'm afraid). I try to encourage him to play alone when I need to get things done around the house, he was actually better entertaining himself a few months ago. For the most part myself or DH or both of us play with him / read to him / talk to him all the time. If we don't he'll cling, sulk, whine etc. and we need to tell him off to get him to go play by himself. My instinct has always been to give him attention and companionship when he wants it, but I'm beginning to wonder if I'm raising an overly-dependant child.

I think you're fine. If I recall 18 months was quite a clingy time for my ds, endless stories, wanting to be picked up. I completely indulged it. He is nearly 4 and everyone comments on how well he can play on his own, (and I do encourage that a bit more now). He was the most confident child going into preschool.

I think they naturally have a period of clinginess before they steel themselves for a new burst of independence, and reassuring them with attention can only help them feel safe exploring the world away from you when they're ready.

Some of it will be personality too. My dd precious second born gets a lot less attention than her brother did, out of necessity, and she is a clinger baby at the moment.

I don't think playing alone is something you can force.

DC3 is 21 months and quite independent in general but she decides as to whether or not she wants to be with me chatting or playing, whining at me or playing nicely on her own! And it seems that it is only about once a week that the stars align and I am really busy, eg getting DC1 and DC2 ready in the mornings, and notice that DC3 is looking like a complete angel baby sitting looking at her books without a care in the world. Other most days is the complete opposite.

Total meltdown on Shrove Tuesday when I decided to cook pancakes for dinner with savoury toppings - so the most complicated meal ever with cheese grating, eggs poaching, veg chopping, pancakes flipping - kind of all at the same time. And DC3 literally screamed and clung to my leg while I whisked the batter and cooked the pancakes, interspersed by me picking her up, cuddling her, me and DCs 1 & 2 trying to distract her with her own pancake, a book a toy, the tv, etc! I probably should have given up at the batter stage but with third child it's kind of a balance that the others sometimes deserve me to do something for them and she has to cope!

Single mum with an almost two year old DD here. She is fiercely independent and plays well by herself but often wants me to join in.

She went through a brain drainingly awful clingy stage around 18 months which we seem to be coming out of now.

After work when she's tired from nursery and I'm trying to cook a quick dinner can be tricky.

I wouldn't worry too much about giving your little one 'too much' attention as long as you're both happy to do that, don't stress. Enjoy. He'll be a parent dodging teen in no time x

Yes, agree with posters above, they always want your attention when you start cooking, though would not be happy for the food to not appear.

I had a similar shrove Tuesday experience, with only two children and a DH to help,

Can't imagine coping with this level of clinginess as a single parent or with other kids. I think you're all superheroes! And huge respect for even attempting those pancakes, mutley.

Reassuring to hear you all recall an uptick in clinginess around this age, as I'm certain he was happier entertaining himself a few months back. Have felt reasonably secure in my gut feeling that I can't give "too much" attention till now and appreciate your help putting my doubts to rest.

Which isn't to say I'd not like to hear from anyone who feels differently about this. Suspect a great deal of this is down to the child and - as you say panna - whether parents are happy / able to give unlimited attention.