help 4yo kicked me in the face

[Fuckup]

my dc has just thrown an almighty strop, the likes of which I've never seen before. It was because she ran away from me in the park and wouldn't listen. She punched me, kicked me left a mark on my face, said horrible things that I don't know where she got them from, threw herself about, shouted, just generally horrible. I've never seen her like it,but she's been like it with my mum before apparently and I'd never seen it. I really struggled to get her home, was with friends who were shocked by her behavior.

What should I do to punish her? she's lost screen time, scooter for the rest of the weekend, sweets, she's in her room ATM still crying and shouting and screaming "I hate you" "I'm going to punch you in the face if you don't let me come out now", weve got neighbours and its not fair on them to listen to this. how can I get through to her? what is a suitable punishment I just don't know.Normally after she's got upset I give her a big hug and am nice to calm her down, but that doesn't feel right now, she's been so nasty and horrible I can't let her get away with it in case she thinks its OK and does it in school or something. What's a suitable punishment. I don't shout as a rule and just feel deflated and shocked ATM. My hands are shaking from being puched and kicked and having to physically restrain her on the way home so she didn't go into the road.

please help mn

should add she's normally very good, that's why me and our friends were so shocked.

Try to calm down and have a nice cup of tea and a , try to ignore the screaming for now, forget the neighbours!

People have different parenting ideas, but don't beat yourself up about this, you will get it sorted out now put something nice on telly and enjoy that cuppa. I would say she doesn't come out until she calms down and apologises.

Let her blow the storm out. You sit and have a nice cup of tea. Don't let her see that you are upset by it - if anything act surprised 'I was very surprised to see you act that way, very confusing indeed. Shouting won't help and it will only get both of you upset.

Punishment needs to be now, explained fully and well thought out, so that you don't relent and let her off with a partial punishment later.

I wonder if she is upset about something or sickening for something? DS turns into wonderbrat when he is coming down with something.

Thanks guys, she's only just stopped crying can't believe it. She might be coming down with something, not sure, hope so in a way so it explains this behavior.

She was hungry so I brought her a sand which, don't want to punish by withholding food, but when I brought it in she said "yay" as if everything was fine after 2hrs of tantrum, punching and nastiness. She's just playing in her room now. Will be mentioning it to her dad when he gets home from work, and he'll have a word as well, but I don't know what else to do

She's lost screen time for a week, and scooter and sweets this weekend. I hope that gets through to her because I'm definitely sticking with it.

She's trying to be good to get her stuff back because she's just said, "can we do my reading book now" (which she normally doesn't want to do)

I would just stick to what you said punishment wise and let her see you are still upset, don't give any treats or play with her today, say you are still too sad as she hit you and was rude to you earlier. Don't make it a huge deal, but don't just let it go completely. Tomorrow she won't get scooter or screen time as you said but I would let her do something else that is quite fun if she is good, but not a special treat, just normal stuff at home.

By the way I wouldn't say too much or say something like you were horrible, but I would just say I am sad because you hurt me.

Thanks will be doing that, she wants it to be normal and fun now but I'm still a bit shocked and told her that, she's being super good now (is that a good sign that she's trying to make up for it?)

Tomorrow won't mention it again unless her behavior starts slippung back to that again

thanks everyone

I think you are handling it very well, its so upsetting when they throw a big strop but you kept very calm and your punishment sounds fair but enough to make her realise she can't act that way.

I know liveluggage its not nice at all. its scarey, don't know where that was hiding or come from. Dancing round her room now like nothings happened! definitely got a few looks in the park when I was restraining her by her wrists but I had to else she'd have run off

How did she get on this evening, OK I hope?

yeah she was OK going to bed, upset that I told her dad about it when he got back from work, but I had to in case she does it again, or just because hes very involved in looking after her too so felt he should know.

Acting like nothings happened today, part from the loss of privledges. hopefully that's the last time!

Has she had chicken pox? It's doing the rounds at the moment, and when I used to teach littlies, I always remember a few usually well behaved children either throwing massive strops or being ridiculously naughty a few days before the spots appeared.

I had what my folks called 'the rage' when I was tiny. My older siblings made a game of winding me up until I went wild, then called mum or dad (and I'd get told off for being angry/rude/fighting etc,and that would make me worse). It took me a while to cotton on that it was best not to rise to it.

Most people haven't seen this side of me, I am usually a wee mouse, but I suppose its there with the right triggers.

Hope you are OK. Got to keep calm, punish and move on.

hmm I wonder afgana she's definitely got a runny nose today, so she's got something. Not sure if its chicken pox will have to wait and see, hope not.

I think she does have 'the rage' nochocolate, she probably inherited it from me as well. I could go wild as a kid, learnt to control it as I got older though, like you. I hope she does too else it will get her in big trouble. She's been a gem today, such a shame her temper completely altered her personality. I wonder why its only showed up know though. Might be because she's in her first year of school and its a change.

When my child hit me in temper I decided that I needed to make it crystal clear in no uncertain terms how totally and utterly unacceptable it is to EVER hit Mummy. I told him once he'd stopped the tantrum that when we got home, I was going to pick out two of his toys and HE was going to choose which one of them was going in the bin.
He didn't think I'd follow through but I made him put it in the outdoor bin and reminded him why. The tears that were shed!
He has never forgotten that day and hasn't hit me since. It also sent a crystal clear message to my other child what happens if hitting Mummy occurs.

Thanks tiny. if it happens again I'll get that strict to send the message home. Would hate to do that but if its what it takes I'll do it. She would be deverstated though. I think she's quite used to getting her own, as an only child at home she doesn't have to share toys constantly or compromise as much so I've got to try extra hard that she doesn't get into selfish habits.