How often should 3yo play independently?

[louiseee123]

Hi

My 3yo seems to always want to play on his own a lot! He goes to nursery 3 times a week and plays with the children there fine but at home he always for example just want to play with his cars and car mat, i try involve myself but he just tells me i'm doing it wrong etc. ATM he's in the kitchen playing with dry rice and pasta with his diggers scooping from one bowl to the next etc and i feel bad i'm not playing "with" him. Should i make more of an effort to play with him?

Im 30 weeks pregnant so sometimes haven't got the energy to do some of the things he wants to do. Definite mummy guilt going on as well as feeling generally crappy!

Don't feel guilty! Independent play is a GOOD thing, for you and for him. Encourage it!

Seriously though, I bet he does value your attention as well- does he like to have stories read, or come to you for cuddles etc? I might be a little concerned if he always preferred being alone, but not if he is generally secure and happy in his relationships.

Smile, put the kettle on and feel pleased that he will cope well with independent play once he gets to Reception. Just make sure he has lots of stimulating and varied stuff to play with.

My dd, nearly 3, will play by herself for a maximum of 5 mins, the rest of the time will demand our involvement in absolutely everything. I am also 30 weeks pregnant and it is exhausting!! I am very jealous of your independent toddler and worry just as much about why mine won't play by herself - so as the pp says, relax and enjoy it!

When my dd was little I was always busy doing some group or activity with her and whenever she was playing felt I needed to play with her as all the advice is 'play with your child' play is important. I also never introduced tv till she was 3!! However in hindsight I think it was one of my biggest mistakes she is now almost 9 and cannot be on her own or play independantly, has no interest in the tv or watching a film- she is completely exhausting she has no idea how to do anything without an adult. Did things much different with my son put him on a playmat and left him, did less groups and put cbeebies on - he will now watch tv play independantly and has a huge imagination!!!

Definitely a good thing. If I think mine has been on his own for too long I ask him to explain what's happening or the rules of the game. Sometimes he suggests I join in and other times he is happy as Larry and I leave him to it but he is aware I am available if he wants to play.

Mine plays well alone. Typically on days I work he has nursery 9-12, then I collect and bring him to my office. We eat. 1-3pm he naps, then 3-6pm he generally just plays alone, or draws alongside me. We then play 6-9pm together a lot at home