desperate! 4yr old has turned into a nightmare

[AfroPuffs]

Hi sorry this is rushed as im literally in tears and have a headache after another drama with 4yr old boy. For just over a week he cries at the tiniest thing and even warns me that his eyes are starting to water. He has the most awful tantrum where he screams like hes being murdered, kicks me, slaps me full force across the face and runs around like a maniac not being able to breathe cos hes crying so hard. Usually caused by not getting his own way but just now there was no clear trigger at all! Collected from pre school he was fine, went to get him a sweet from shop as a treat (cos hes been having tantrums every day) and he kicked off in the shop when i asked him which sweet he wanted. Screaming, hitting me, trying to run away from me but then screeching and clinging on when i started to walk away myself. Tried picking him up in the end but hes so heavy and i had all my bags so struggled. All the traffic stopped and it was humiliating. Im half expecting the police to turn up any second and take me away.

Has anyone experienced this? Doesnt seem normal and im wondering if gp is the option? He cries and says hes trying to stop, but he cant.

I feel awful....every night this wk. Please help

Anyone?

Has it just been this week? Could he be brewing an illness?

Yes just this week. He seems ok at pre-school though. Its like he saves up the tantrums just for me!

He probably is. I find the effort for them to behave really well out if home takes it's toll and they get tired and grumpy when they get back.

Have you tried asking him? When he's calmed down I mean?
I think children lull you into a false sense of security and just when you think things are going well they have a week like that. There may be tiredness, illness, some kind of development thing going on, you may never find out what's causing it. At pre school is he behaving well? Have they started doing something new? Have they started talking about going to school - anything like that that might have unsettled him? Or are there problems with friendships? Worth asking the staff about this.

I would wait until he's calm and then ask him about how he was feeling. He may not be able to tell you - he may not know. But at four he's old enough for you to tell him calmly and quietly (rather than shouting which I've been guilty of before now) that that kind of behaviour is not acceptable and that there are simple consequences. When he's calm and can hear you not mid temper when he can't hear a thing.

Try to keep things as calm as possible and as simple as possible at home as well. Treat him like you would a younger toddler - so either no or simple choices only. Hopefully things will pick up.

Thanks for the advice/comments.

I have asked him but he says he doesnt know why he's upset or that he cant remember. Pre school ok as far as im aware. He had a knock there 2 days ago (another child pushed him into a seesaw), but they are good mates usually. I will check with the staff today. He also finds it tough getting up in the morn, so potentially tiredness. Im going to try shifting his bedtime earlier and keeping things calm as much as poss. Im tearing my hair out and its exhausting!

I had two weeks like that recently with my 4 yo. Looking back, being away from his home, illness, not eating well coincided with the tantrums and poor behaviour. Since he had been home and back in a proper routine, he has been brilliant. Sounds like sleep could be a factor also low blood sugar after pre school? Maybe give him a snack as soon as you pick him up.

My 4yo was being bit of a devil after nursery so now we stand in the car park and she eats a banana and has a drink and this has definitely helped! She has a bedtime of 6pm on nursery days and will sleep through til 7.30, this also makes a difference. Id try those kinds of small changes before I started considering GP appointments etc.

Thank you. I've been getting him off to bed early for the past 2 nights and will continue that routine. He seems in better spirits today so fingers crossed!