How best to manage cheekiness?

[Pyjamaramadrama]

My 6 almost 7 year old is so cheeky.

He's just had a major outburst in the car. He said that he wanted his birthday party at x place, so we were on our way to pay the deposit when he says that he's changed his mind, he wants his party at y place instead.

I said that it was too late, I've booked it, however when I got there it was closed early. So he started in the back of the car about he knew we shouldn't have gone there, what a waste of time it was, it's a stupid place anyway, we've just wasted loads of time.

I said that if he was going to be so ungrateful perhaps he shouldn't have a party at all, then he started crying his eyes out.

When I stopped the car I tried to talk to him but he was telling me I never get him anything he wants, how his friend at school has so many more toys than him, I'm ruining his birthday the day he was born that's just for him.

Then we went to the shops and as we came out he started saying we should have chip shop for dinner as it smells lovely, I agreed but said our dinner which was cooking at home would be lovely too and healthy. Then came the attitude again we don't have to be healthy everyday why can't he just have what he wants for dinner.

My son has as much as any other child, he wants for nothing in terms of having nice things, I realise that this isn't the be all and end all.

He won't take no for an answer even though I'm fairly sure that I don't give in once I've said no.

His attitude is just horrible a lot of the time. He can be lovely but Thursdays seem to be a particularly bad day as he seems to get tired towards the end of the week.

He isn't doing anything as such it's the way he speaks and his attitude.

It doesn't sound as bad written down but his tone of voice is awful for a 6 year old. He also tells me to 'mind my own business' if I ask him sometimes what he's doing.

When I say he's not doing anything as such I mean it's not as though he's physically behaving badly. He's ok at school, can be a little chatty in class but his teachers say he's one of the better behaved ones. He's great with his peers.

I have him do little jobs just like changing the small bathroom bin, tidy his room up once a week, not dump his clothes around the house, but I get such attitude off him at times about how he has to do 'everything' and it's not fair.

I want to nip it in the bud now.

At this sort of age, with the stresses of school, and his birthday looming, I guess everything whirls around in his mind, and he is not yet mature enough to deal with it.

What is his academic performance at school like, and does he engage in normal school activities, games and PE, music, drama, art etc? Is he generally happy at school?

Maybe if you can avoid situations that might trigger his negative reaction (not that I'm suggesting you are doing anything unreasonable - quite the opposite) and so don't 'start him off' and see if that makes any difference.

Children this young probably can't yet evaluate or discuss these kinds of situations; and, indeed, some adults probably can't.

Could you have said? Maybe we can do the party there next year and We can have chips tomorrow as I have already cooked dinner tonight. Maybe is the fact that he wants his opinion value. Asking him to help a bit is good but don't expect a lot from a 6 year old. Do you reward his good behaviour? . My dd 4 hates to be told off or not to do things; we did a reward chart to encourage good behaviour and I promised her a present when she get lots of stars and it is working really well so far.

My DS is very similar, very rude.
I find that changing focus works well when he start to be rude/ungrateful. Say he is unhappy about not having the ipad and starts moaning. If i smile and say oh lets have breakfast, do you want the shreddies or the special K? Have you thought about your show and tell today blablabla... Then he forgets his grumpytude. We also have a book called Misery Moo and it is hilarious (well i find it hilarious) and i remind him of the story...