Help! My 15 month is making me terrified that i'm pregnant again! :(

[Allstoppedup]

I feel awful writing that but I'm at the end of my rope. I just don't know what's happened.

My normally (mostly) lovely 15 month old DS has this week turned into a clingy, screamer. He's constantly requesting breastmilk, he had dropped to about 3 feeds a day and had night weaned and now he's screaming for it hourly.

I keep offering him snacks, water and he does now have some cows milk but he rejects it all. He doesn't seem particularly hungry, he will eat his breakfast/lunch and dinner but usually not all of it so I know he's not starving.

If I put him down for a second to go to the loo, make his lunch, attempt to tidy, or throw up he arches his back, grabs my clothes, skin and shrieks.

He's also started night waking again and screams for a breastfeed. He weaned well and quickly about 3 months ago and even before he never used to scream, screech and pinch at night, he used to just wake and snuffle. He has always had problems with reflux and has night time ranitadine as his reflux used to wake him and then he'd want to feed but this stopped as soon as he was put on to his medication. He's on the right dose for his weight so I'm certain it's not that.

I'm 12 weeks pregnant, have HG which I'm on meds for, my nipples feel as sore as they did in my first months of breastfeeding and I'm drop down exhausted. I have tried to limit his feeds, distract him, cuddle him but nothing works he just screams, launches himself around, pinches, headbutts the floor, wall, table, me. He pulls at my clothes and bra and scratches me. I tell him no, gentle and move him away until he calms down but he just doesn't! Nothing comforts him.

I honestly feel terrified at the moment about having two children as I can't even cope with this one! I don't feel excited anymore about the baby, just horrified at the thought of less sleep and more feeding than I'm already doing. I feel like a husk.

I have my first scan tomorrow and feel horribly guilty like if something is wrong I've wished it on myself. I know that's illogical but I just feel so bad, like I'm an awful mum to both my son and the baby inside me.

I just feel like he's either screaming or breastfeeding at the moment. I feel so tired, sick and miserable. I don't know what else to try or what's changed and why he is acting this way. He seems so, so unhappy and nothing I try seems to help.

Bump

no advice really just to say you are not alone. I have a six yo, a 15 month old and am 22 weeks pregnant. I am suffering really bad drom spd and am on crutches. my 6 yo helps as much as he can but he is only six and I hate having to rely on him. my 15 month old...demon. she screams and has started night waking wanting milk. she is violent (im just very stern and make ger give a hug or kiss better, maybe this would work?) she sat on my fire surround yesterday and poured her drink all over her legs, just because she could! its hard.
and for you

My 2 boys are 22 months apart and when I was pregnant my ds1 was very similar to yours. We had a nightmare getting him to sleep at bedtime and he woke several times a night for milk (in a cup as he was weaned from bf at a year). I had a great hv who suggested it was just habit rather than hunger so we started mixing the milk with water and gradually deceased the proportion of milk until it was just water. He stopped waking for water and during the process I stopped taking him out of the cot to cuddle but I would sit on the floor and hold his hand or stroke his hair. He raged about this for the first few nights but the process took much less time than I had imagined.

Anyway, in a roundabout way I'm trying to say I spent many nights up with DS1 wondering how I was going to cope and if I was an idiot to be having another so soon! Ds1 was much better by the time ds2 was born and they are now the best of friends aged 8 and nearly 10. The first year was a steepish learning curve but we found our way and I'm sure you will too.

Thank you both. It's nice to know I'm not the only one!

I just had such a bad night with him and then he's screamed all morning because I've not let him feed for an hour or so as I'm too sore! I think hormones are in overdrive and worrying about the scan tomorrow is all adding up and I'm not being quite as reasonable as I should be. He's still only 15 months I guess!

He's had a big old scream session and actually fallen fast asleep on me so he must have been tired after last night. I've sneaked us back into bed so hopefully some peace for a little while and he''ll wake up in a better mood!

Thanks again and fatty I hope you feel better soon too, SPD sounds bloody awful! I can't imagine doing this again with 2 DC!

sneaky naps are always good

I found out I was pregnant when DD was 12 months and felt exactly the same as this. I just couldn't imagine the thought of having 2 when I couldn't cope with the 1 I had. I was exhausted, sick, up 2-3 times a night with DD, and felt so guilty that I wasn't as ecstatic about this pregnancy as my first one. I'm now 24 weeks, feeling slightly more human, DD is 16 months and become a delight again (although still doesn't sleep) and I'm now genuinely excited about having another. Hang on in there

I just don't know what to do. My baby will not go to bed at night it takes three hours no matter what I do,three hours of comfort sucking (which I've stopped as was hurting) so now trying rocking and takes three hours of on and off crying before he's finally down for the night. Just exhausted and starting to wonder if there is something wrong with him. He never switches off, is almost manic. When he's tired he just frantically kicks his legs and flaps his arms. Hes an absolutely rubbish napper and will only nap in his ergo or pram with lots of crying going to sleep and waking up. So worried about him and just scared,

Could he be teething? My 15mo has molars just breaking through and has completely lost his appetite (except for breastfeeds), is short tempered and clingy, and waking several times a night. Calpol seems to help, temporarily.
It's possible that he's breastfeeding more as your supply could be starting to be affected by the pregnancy, too. My daughter went through a fussy feeding stage and then self-weaned when I was about 15 weeks pregnant - she was 2 though - and I think it was because the milk changed as she was always a very committed bf'er before that.

I've been going on the theory its teething now DIY praying as that means there will be an end to it! It's nice to hear that someone else has experienced something similar with regards to his behaviour. He's on bedtime calpol now and I've given in and succumbed to night feedings if he's really upset. We are all happier getting more sleep and I suppose I can always night wean again when he starts to lose interest again.

My supply did really drop in my first 6/7 weeks and he lost lots of interest so I did think he was going to self wean. The supply seems alright again now and he certainly gulps plenty down (and usually dribbles milk after too!)

Ivory sorry to hear you are having such a horrible time. It a really, really tough! Especially when you are exhausted, your logical brain and ability to cope just go kaput. Obviously from my post I'm no expert at handling it either but I'll say your DS sounds totally normal so try not to worry.

As I said my DS had awful silent reflux and used to scream when he was lay down as it made the acid rise and hurt him, does your DS cough/gulp then scream when you lay him down? He would only sleep being held upright/ in his sling too. Comfort feeding can also be a sign as it makes them feel better but can make the problem worse.

Just a thought but maybe read up on it and perhaps visit your GP. My DS WAS a changed baby when we started him on ranitidine before bed. (With the exception of the past few days )