3yo hurting herself

[ChuckyDuck]

I'm a bit concerned about my just turned three year old dd, her tantrums are really starting to step up a notch and she's started to hit/hurt herself.

I've noticed these are happening when things are different to what she's used to, new faces, busy places etc. For example yesterday her nursery held a parents session, where parents were welcome to stay and join in etc, dd hated this as they were obviously a lot of adults in a small room (she's always telling me she's scared of 'big peoples', she means strangers she's great with family, friends, nursery staff etc) she spent a lot of time hiding under the table just squealing, when I managed to coax her out she just started thrashing about and hitting herself over the head, I took her home at this point and she was absolutely fine once we got in the car.

Another example this morning I really needed to pop to the shop, dd really hates it at busy supermarkets we normally have screaming fits or she will just lay down rigid in an aisle so I can't pick her up or anything. To make life easier for us both I tend to do online shop but today I just needed a few bits so planned to sit dd in the trolley seat and whizz round. Anyway she got that upset she started headbutting the trolley and bust her nose

Once again as soon as we were back in the car she was her usual happy self, she's very chatty and inquisitive, very loving etc. Is there anything I can do to help her? Apart from avoiding the supermarket at all costs! I hate seeing her so upset when she has these outbursts. Anyone else's toddler do similar?

No, not normal I'm sorry I'd get her checked out quickly. I speak as an ex CM \nanny EY teacher and M of 3.

Unless she watches violent tv or is hit by someone this sounds problematic to me. (which of course is in itself problematic).

She could be an overly 'sensitive' child.

Thanks for reply, of course she has never witnessed violence ever.

I've always called her a hormonal toddler, her mood swings can be epic, laughing and giggling one minute weepy the next. I've always put this down to the fact she has to take a lot of steroids for her asthma, I definitely noticed a change of behaviour when she started those but she's not any for a while and the problem is getting worse not better.

Yes steroids are not good for mood changes, ds had them for asthma too. But he didn't self harm, his doc. suggested he hit cushions or a pillow when he got angry. We eventually took him off those completely and he got better with chinese herbs.

Of course all dcs are different ,it was the problems she has with crowds that suggested to me that she might be a sensitive child, they can't cope with 'normal' classroom noise, you'd need to get her statemented for that. Does she eat lots of fresh veggies and fruit? If not you could try giving her more of those in her diet.

Is it just crowded or noisy places that cause this reaction? Do nursery have anything to say about her behaviour or development?

If you need to go somewhere you know might cause a reaction does it help if you prepare her, talking about what you need, where it is in the shop, how she can help etc so there are no surprises when she gets there.

You could try bribery too, a chocolate button if she can sit nicely in the trolley.

If it is too loud for her, would you try ear plugs? Some children hate the overhead strip lights, you might find she likes sunglasses (toddlers can get away with looking crazy and people think its cute) and if it's the sheer number of people and stimulation would she be willing to watch a peppa pig episode on your phone while in there to focus her away from the chaos around her?

Some kids grow out of this kind of thing, others always struggle with sensory processing kinds of things

Yes some helpful ideas there strawberryshoes

Thank you for the great suggestions, will definitely try those.

She actually loves nursery, her keyworker was shocked at how she was because she's normally the opposite when she's there, always happy and joining in etc. She is very familiar with it though, she's being going for a year and it's a very small nursery, she has a brilliant relationship with her keyworker which really helps. Of course it took a while to get her settled had to do it really gradually but she does really enjoy it.

If I was to contact someone to talk about the issues she's having who would be best, gp or the health visitor? Thanks again.

I would go 2 prong and do both, write down all your concerns so you don't forget or miss any out. Often the HV and GP will have a wait and see, give it 6 months approach but if you are concerned you should pretty much insist on a referral to a developmental paediatrician when you see the GP. Waiting is all well and good but waiting lists mean your 6 months can turn to 12 pretty easily

Thanks for your help, I will do that.