Dd is 3 years 3 months. She was hitting and kicking so I said she had to go straight to bed without her story. Then she refused to let me clean her teeth and was getting more and more worked up and started shouting and screaming at me. I tried to just put her in her room to calm down but it just made her worse than before, she was screaming at the top of her lungs and going red in the face. I went to get her and she was kicking and hitting me while screaming and I didn't know what to do so I just sat with her to try and calm her down but nothing seemed to work.
It was only when I said 'what will the people upstairs think of you making all this noise?' (We live in a flat) that she finally calmed down. I then spoke to her in a very calm way about why we don't hit or kick or shout and scream. We were both upset and stressed by this point. She was then very cuddly and loving towards me and we read a book as normal and she went to bed as normal, but totally worn out from all the screaming and crying. It has worn us both out!
She has just gone from a childminders to a nursery and I have also just introduced her to my first partner since me and her dad spilt up, so lots of changes going on.
I guess my question is how to prevent it from getting that far, she was totally uncontrollable and she is very strong for her age... it's a bit scary as her dad was verbally abusive towards me (he shouted a lot) and I worry she has picked up some of his traits. She was hitting and kicking me with full force. She shouted till she was red in the face and shaking. How can I stop this from happening again? I've never shouted at her like that, I talk firmly to her, but never shout. I think I've only raised my voice at her once or twice ever so it's not me she's getting it from. I feel her behaviour has been getting steadily worse over the past couple of weeks, which coincides with her starting the new nursery :(
Any help hugely appreciated. I really don't want that to happen again.