Six year old faked vomiting to get sent home from school. What should I do?

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My six year old DD has always been highly sensitive and when she's stressed she has a very physical response which primarily manifests as stomach pains.

She hates change and obsessively worries over change. Recently her class teacher quit mid term and she has a string of supply teachers in her classroom. During this period she has cried with stomach pain every morning before school and at school. I have constantly reassured her she's not ill and doesn't need to worry. She tries to get sent home from school and I have explained to school that its stress and I don't want to start teaching her she can get out of school by claiming illness so they have agreed not to call me to collect her.

Yesterday I was called to collect her because she had "vomited". When I got there her class teacher told me she'd been found in the toilets having been very sick. When I got her home and talked to her the story did not ring true and eventually it transpires she had not been sick but had been very anxious about the pains, seen another girl sent home for vomiting, was scared she would vomit so told the teachers she had vomited in the toilet and had stayed in there crying til someone found her.

How should I handle this situation? She lied to skip school which is wrong but I do believe she gets bad pains from the anxiety and as she's so unsettled at the moment I do want her to feel supported not punished. But I do not want to reinforce this behaviour. She's happy and healthy as Larry at home but already obsessing about being ill on Monday.

Make an appointment with the Home School Liaison or Welfare Officer (they have lots of different titles) and tell them exactly what you've said here.

The school should be supporting her to feel happier at school and they will have several strategies to do that.

Poor love. I have a 6 year old DD who would hate a string of supply teachers.

Id make sure she knows that it wasn't okay to fib, she does have to go to school and you won't be falling for it on a regular basis. Then I would try and find out what is making her most anxious about school and what might help. (Does she trust the TA? A note/ picture from you in her bag? Familiar object or toy to take in? As much advance notice as possible about which supply teacher will be in when?)

Then get onto school. Ask to speak to the SENCO (special educational needs co ordinator) or the Head - whoever is helpful. Find out what their plans are for long term recruitment and/or some stable supply teaching. Ask how they can positively support DD to feel less anxious and cope with the changes and uncertainty. She won't be the only one!

You do need to explain that it is wrong to lie, however, stressful she is finding school. My dd1 went through a period of saying she felt ill when she was struggling with maths. She was doing this while I was at work and I was having to make the 10 mile journey to get her, having rearranged my day. Obviously I would do this without question if she was genuinely unwell.

I had a very serious conversation with school after all this went on and have told them unless she is genuinely unwell I am not prepared to come and get her at the drop of a hat.

I think you should also tell the school about her anxiety. Your dd probably cannot articulate how she's feeling so is probably confusing feeling worried for feeling ill.

Thanks. Unfortunately it's a new school so it only has a few classes and v few staff so no welfare officer and the Head is the SENCO. I will talk to the Head but I'm not holding out a lot of hope that the school will do much beyond asking the TA to look out for DD and give her reassurance and that is already happening.

Can you get therapy for six year olds? She is such a worrier and I wish I could help her learn not to worry before it becomes set as a life long habit.