Hi all,
It's taken a while for me to pluck up the courage to post about this for fear of being shot down but here goes;
My DD turned 4 in December but I've had concerns since she was less than a year old. Since her 3rd birthday she has become increasingly hard work. I've worked with children of this age, children with autism included but I strongly feel that DDs behaviour is not that of the standard child. I waver between thoughts of Aspergers and ADD and at the really dark points sociopathy. I have no idea who to ask for help. GP? Health visitor? Therapist? My stepfather has Aspergers, and DH has strong traits. He often doesn't understand emotions and has had to learn social behaviour.
My biggest worry is DD's lack of empathy. She simply does not care about other peoples feelings. For example, if I were to cry I would be told "oh, just stop it" accompanied by an eye roll. If someone is hurt, she's more concerned about how it will effect her.
She frequently talks about death and 'bad things'. Recently she's become fixated on stranger danger, something we had to approach as she will talk to anyone. It's a gleeful, excited fixation though, not a fear. Like she can't wait to meet a 'bad person'.
She has zero imagination. Something the nursery has picked up on. She cannot play with other children unless they are playing a story or film she knows. Usually she would prefer it if these things are heavy on the fighting.
Following on from that she has no interest in toys unless they are character toys and she will only act out the films or shows they come from. Her main interest is Transformers.
Punishments don't work, star charts don't work, rewarding the good and ignoring the bad is a waste of time and I can't take toys away because she couldn't give a monkeys about them!
She's advanced for her age. She's as tall as a six year old, has a vocabulary that shocks most adults. She could talk at 8 months, count to 20 at a year, write her name by 14 months and is now beginning to read and write. She learned to dress herself and do her shoes at 2 but recently all these things seem to have regressed. She cannot put her shoes on the right feet, put her coat on etc. It doesn't seem like attention seeking behaviour because she appears visibly distressed. She knows left from right and doesn't get them wrong ever.
If I try to talk to her, her eyes dart everywhere and she fidgets with anything she can. I'll ask her to repeat everything back to me but she has no idea what was said.
She doesn't eat. Ever. She will take a bite, chew it for 10 minutes then run off. We always eat at the table as a family but mealtimes are such a chore because she fidgets, knocks things to the floor, shouts etc. A piece of toast will take up to an hour because she's so.... Distracted. By everything.
Thankfully she's an ace sleeper. She's slept through the night since 8 weeks and sleeps 12-14 hours at night but seems exhausted and often has bags under her eyes. She's asleep on the sofa right now. She has frequent nightmares, but so I did as a child and continue to so I think the nightmares are not something to be too concerned over.
I'm at my wits end and I have no idea who or where to approach to find out if there is anything I can do for her. I'm open to anything! Advice from parents with children who show similar behaviour would be gratefully received.