new mom help ! speech delay in 2 y old boy?

[letboss]

Dear netmums

Im having a bit of a dilema . My boy is 2y3m . he does have a vocabulary of about 50 to 70 words, he's lively, interested in things and people. He has started pre school 3 mts ago ( 3x week, 3 hours session) and I mentioned to head mistress that he is not putting 2 works together, so I was a bit worried and I think he has a speech delay ( I dont see any other problems in other areas of development ) .

She has since mentioned that he is not playing with other children , and he has problems 'understanding and listening', ie , he wont do as hes told, is sit down in a circle , or sit down at all in any circumstance , or follow peoples lead - he will do an activity for 5 minutes and see a bright red car and go play with that .

although Im worried about his speech delay , the other behaviour seems like a normal behaviour for an active 2y old boy . He is also the youngest in the class- all other kids are 3+ .

I went to a drop in speech therapist last week , and she said hes too young - give him some time , do some exercises with him, take him there in a month for follow up . The head mistress gave me a letter to the speech therapist requesting extra help with him at school , I thought this was OTT, and the speech therapist agreed , said its not necessary at this stage.

The pre school called me yesterday and asked if i ever heard of Portage . its a system of help given to children with special needs . I thought that was extremely OTT , and im very confused now.

I think the school has quotas to reach, they have a Ecat qualification ( every child a talker ) and they are very pushy in that area. Also, I fell that he is just starting toddlerhood , and all this pressure to conform to things already is a bit too much .

Im very confused and loosing sleep over this . Comments and experiences are very welcome please .

Hi, I think the preschool head is going way overboard. DS is 2yrs 1 month and has maybe two words. He has been referred for speech therapy. The cut off here is less than 10 words so your son wouldn't qualify. I would go back to the speech therapist in a month for the follow up but even if he's a little later making sentences 50-70 words is a pretty good start.

His behaviour sounds pretty normal to me. I don't think many children at this age play together, alongside each other but not actually together. It sounds to me like the head has unrealistic expectations perhaps based on what the other older children doing.

Do the health visitors in your area do a 2 year check? This might be away of getting a second opinion on his general development. I know how anxiety making this kind of stuff can be - I worry a lot about DS's speech delay but I really think that the preschool is being very OTT. I'm far from an expert but none of what you describe sounds unusual. My only concern would be whether the preschool is suitable for DS as they seem determined to pigeon hole him as having additional needs based on not very much.

50-70 words at 2.3 is a lot and it doesn't sound like he is behind at all! And the other stuff sounds perfectly normal at 2 as well. They don't play together until 3, at 2 it's all parallel play.

Why is he in a class of over three year olds when he is just two? It sounds like they have unrealistic expectations of him.

Hi - Yes, you are being worried unnecessarily by people who should know better.

Is it a private pre school attached to 'big' school, or is it a stand-alone pre school?

Speech therapists can help in some circumstances, but certainly not needed in this case I don't think. Many years ago, when I was TA with a Yr2 class, a child I worked with was having speech therapy, and I asked to sit-in on a session, just out of interest. I was surprised when one of the tasks the child had to do was put four picture cards in order, of a bird building its nest. To me, that wasn't a test of cognition, but of ornithology or natural history!

Read and talk to him all the time (which I'm sure you already do) and maybe try little poems or 'tongue twisters' - Beatrix Potter "Appley Dapply Nursery Rhymes" or "Dr Seuss", and invite him to complete a rhyme, or copy a tongue twister. Spike Milligan's books of children's nonsense rhymes are also good.

I assume his hearing has been checked and is OK? A playgroup supervisor speculated, out loud, that a 4 yr old boy might be deaf, when he continually ignored her requests. His 4 yr old friend said: "No, he's not deaf! He just knows what you are going to say, so he doesn't bother to listen."

I have seen Portage used in school, but I don't recall it involving parents, as much as their website suggests. I thought it was more a kit of resources, used in a specific way.

So, for now ignore most of what people are saying, and try to get a good night's sleep!

He sounds like he is doing great to me, my son is slightly younger and doesn't speak at all (he is autistic) so that many words sounds brilliant. It sounds like he needs encouragement rather than official support from Speech and Language although I would follow through if they refer you because the waiting lists are huge and it would save you waiting again if it turns out he needs them later.

Portage are brilliant, I have had them for my older son and waiting on it for my younger son (both autistic), I don't think you will qualify as they are over stretched and generally there has to be a significant need. If they do offer though I would be worth meeting with them, they come round and play games with your child to support their language development and lend toys for you to do with your child that will back this up.

So it would be nice extra help to have if you qualify and you son will likely enjoy it, my little boy loved it. They have lots of useful ideas on lots of things not just language development. They also worked with my son's preschool so everyone was taking the same approach.

I think perhaps you need to have words with the school, they seem to be paranoid and possibly pushing your son down a road he doesn't need. My nephew at 2 literally said nothing, he grunted and that's it. He is very much a Daddy's boy and since my brother has been taking him to a play centre and interacting in activities he likes, he has finally starting speaking, not much but a start. He is 2 and a half now, and despite still not speaking much no-one at this point is worried to the same point your school seems to be.

Dear Moms, thank you so much for the reply. means a lot to me .

Lillicat , I thought the same , Portage seems great and im sure they are very overstreched with kids that really do need the service. all the best for your boys !

Ferguson, Its a stand alone pre-school. they are the only one with an outstanding from ofstead , so maybe they are trying to push this speech thing
for the kids for a future inspection .Thanks for the tips !;)

BertieBotts , they have all kids in the same class really, its a morning and afternoon shift . you do either or both , with lunch in the middle .

RichInBunlyGoodness, I suspected the same , that kids his age dont play together yet, but alongside!

Tace care all x

OP, you might want to have a look at the special needs section. Usually, parents have the opposite problem - seeing issues I their child by being fobbed off but nursery and school.

from my experience, I nursery think a child needs extra support, there is usually more to it.

your son is still young but if he does have extra needs, the sooner they arw idendified the better. early intervention can make a lor of difference.

at that age, my DD had about 140 words, no linking, struggled to listen and comprehension was delayed as well. faat forward 5 years and we have a diagnosis of autism and a severe speech disorder.

not saying your DS has autism but I would certainly grab any help you can get at this point.

good luck!

sorry about the typos ...on my phone

Blimming heck this makes for scary reading, I can't believe how dramatic your son's pre school is being.

My DS is 28/29 months and says about three words. We were with a speech therapist yesterday and she wasn't that concerned. I have been given some exercises to do with him and she wants me to go on a patenting course. He goes to an outstanding preschool connected to the infant school he will attend and they are not particularly concerned either. He is obsessed with buttons and switches and doors and they have 'free flow' play in line with government recommendations and he will spend all his time walking between the computer the cupboards and outside. They have commented on this but not in a panicked way. He also doesn't join in with the other children's organised activities but he will play alongside the children happily.

I have seen my sister get dragged through the SEN mill with her 4 year old. They have had all sorts of professionals wringing their hands and advising all sorts. Finally she was given an appointment with a Paediatrician with the assumption that he would get a diagnosis of something (I think ASD judging from their key notes) and instead he was declared normal. Well what a shocker

So honestly, try not to fret although I know you will. I honestly couldn't give a shit what these people want to pigeon hole my son as. He is my son, my only child and my world and I will happily jump through the hoops they want me to and love him harder every time. Just do what they want you to do and see who they want you to see and I'm sure at the end of it all will be fine.

DS was like this at 2.3. By 2.5 we couldn't keep him quiet.