If your child has ADHD...

[elphiethegreat]

At what age did you expect something was wrong and what sort of behaviour was your child displaying? Had they always been that way?

How did they end up being diagnosed?

Any info/stories would be greatly appreciated

Ds1 (19) has ADHD. I knew there was something wrong as soon as he started school. He didn't make friends easily and although he appeared very able was not doing well academically. His teacher thought he was badly behaved and that it was a lack of discipline causing his problems and when I suggested it may be something more she disagreed. I went to the GP and asked for a referral. At our first appointment the paediatrician agreed with me and thought he had DCD however, with questionnaires and further referrals ADHD was diagnosed.

In retrospect all the signs were there. He was a very chilled baby (this didn't last) but showed no preference for me (his main carer). He didn't go through separation anxiety or a shy phase. He would have gone with anyone. He did everything early and appeared very bright. He spoke exceptionally well by two and could recognise numbers and letters. He was also the master of meltdowns. He dribbled, soaking several t-shirts a day until he was 4.5. I looked at several playgroups and nurseries for him and discounted an open plan one as I thought he would just run riot. We often left social gatherings early as he would have accidentally hurt someone or damaged something. I remember the first day we visited the school I told the teacher that I couldn't see him sitting down and paying attention. She assured me that they all do but said "of course there's always one!" I thought to myself I bet he's the one and I was right. I could go on!

Of course he's 19 now, at college (university next year) and a great lad. He's never been any real bother throughout the teenaged years whilst many of my friends have struggled. He has loads of lovely friends and a girlfriend (scary) He's still on Ritalin but it's not for ever. He will pop to Tesco if I need anything and went round dozens of shops to find red hair spray for his little brother for Red Nose Day. He is very, very kind.

Do you have concerns about your child?

I knew pretty much from when DS was 3. I didn't suspect ADHD though. I didn't know what was wrong, just that DS was different from other children in terms of development. Tbh I just thought I had an active and quirky child.
Nursery and then school picked up various issues and DS was seen by two or three paediatricians before being diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder at age 7. The paediatrician said there was usually a co-morbid diagnosis with autism and suspected ADHD. DS was diagnosed with ADHD at age 8. Medication was a life changing moment for him. Within three months of starting it he could finally read. Within three years he was achieving to a similar academic level as his peers.
He is 12 now and just gone into Y7 at secondary school but is struggling with the larger environment.

Thanks for the responses.

Eva I do have a few concerns about my DD, aged 5. She is and always has been very active (hyper?). This was often voiced to me at nursery, along with her regularly not sitting down with the other children at circle time, but they also said they didn't think there were any 'problems, just that she was clever and know how to press their buttons. They also said as she got older she was probably just bored and ready to start school.

She's always been extremely sociable and loves other children and adults and has always been friends with everyone, so that's never been an issue.

She has a tendency to get very carried away and take things too far. But I'm not sure if that's just her? I wonder if she's just a very excitable little girl, which she always has been.

Since starting school we've had the same issues as we did at nursery; not listening, shouting out, silliness etc, however this was only voiced at parents evening in October. I know it's contiuing though because we get a text each week on a Friday to say if they have had their choosing time on Friday or if they lost some time due to behaviour. She seems to lose a few minutes off her playtime most weeks.

Academically she does well, she's reading very well, knows her numbers and two times table, does excellently in her spelling tests every week and is eager to learn. She comes home telling me lots about what she has learnt.

Yesterday when I collected her from school the teacher came out and asked for a word. She said that dd had started going to a club at school at breaktime, and was I happy for her to continue going..she said it was a group of 8 children in the school (only 80 children in the school), focusing on 'social skills' such as knowing when it is the right time to speak, taking turns, listening etc. she said she felt dd would benefit from going and she had enjoyed it that day.

At home she can be very silly, hyperactive, and often challenging, she's always been this way though. She's extremely stubborn and likes things the her way. She's an only child. She gets lots of attention from me, I spend time reading, playing games etc and we get out lots. She can spend ages drawing and colouring or playing upstairs in her bedtime.

When she's having one on one time she's a delight, so caring, tells me she loves me several times a day, very affectionate and well behaved. But things can change suddenly and she becomes indescribable! It's like when she's in that mindset there's just no bringing her down, she's either hyper and silly or just horrible. She even bit me the other day!

Wow this is very long, Bascially I don't know if it's just her spirited personality, or something else. i do know it's not a phases though because she's been like this from the word go.

my gorgeous boy got diagnosed with ADHD, autism and special needs when beginning school at 5.. I feel he has not mch help he sees his specialist maybe twice a year packs us of with a months supply of equasym xl then he goes 5 moths without.. they seem to think this is unharmful.. in the last 12 years I admit cos of my consistent effort with his school work he has gone from makin simple pencil marks to been a neat wrighter, has been put back into mainstream clas with the rest for half the day and slowly but surely catching up with his peers.. his school dont give me any update s or feedback unless I ask, and he is now reading his school books and currently (with a lot of help from me) completeing his year 2 writing project to the same standars as the rest of his class, even if im researching it then telling him what to write spelling each word out letter by letter for him. in 3 years he has had just 1 good work award.. but yet I see same kids getting them monthly.. frustrating but I no his improvement is down to me x

If she's ok one to one and is progressing well academically then I wouldn't think it's adhd. Is she able to concentrate on things for a long time if they engage her? Ds is 4 and has always been at the high energy end of the spectrum and in many ways sounds like your dd. If he's in the right mood he'll stick at a task he enjoys for a long time, but if he's not then forget it - he ends up messing around and distracting others. I think he's an extrovert and an experiential learner which simply means he has to be 'doing' things physically rather than learning the theory.

Arrrrgh! Just wrote a lovely long post and it disappeared!

In summary: it sounds like the school are on board with their small lunchtime group and the person taking that will hopefully be able to give you some constructive feedback. I would give the group a few weeks and ask for feedback, make an appointment with her teacher and find out what concerns she has and list your concerns. I would ask for her to be assessed either through the school or your GP. I think that it will eventually affect her self esteem if she is continually missing choosing time for her "naughtiness".

Biting (especially biting an adult) is a very impulsive action, fairly unusual at 5 and would concern me.

I am now aware that I have ADD and can't help but think that a childhood diagnosis would have made my life easier. I felt very misunderstood as a child and suffered anxiety and later depression and still very much lack confidence although I have had a very successful career. Ds3 (8) may we'll get a diagnosis yet!

It may just be her nature but no one will diagnose her with something she doesn't have. Good luck.

Thanks again for the replies! All very helpful.

Little lion - yes with one on one time she is able to engage for a long time, IF it's something SHE wants to do. If for example I want her to read a particular book in the evening she will spend half her time figiting and trying to do other things. She's easily distracted if she doesn't want to do something..but I'm not sure if that's normal 5 year old behaviour?! I don't have many other children to compare her to with her being an only child and friends children are all much younger.

Eva - she can be very impulsive at times. She'll do something unexpected or silly, like biting or once she spat her toothpaste out on the floor instead of in the sink, and when I say why did you do that, she always said 'I don't know?' Like she's surpirsed herself!

In the past when I have talked to her about being silly she has said 'but if I'm not silly no one will laugh', almost as if she feels it's her duty to make everyone laugh and be the class clown . At nursery the girls who worked there always described her as bonkers and I wonder sometimes if she feels she has to live up to that expectation?

She's definately an extrovert, sociable, has hobbies, gymnastics etc. Loves acting, singing and dancing. Which is why I can't work out if it's just her 'crazy'/excitable personality, which I love (to a certain extent!) or something else. She's constantly talking or singing and just generally 'hyper'.

We could be describing the same child elphie! Ds is impulsive to the point of seeming not to hear/ listen - if he has an overwhelming urge to do something it's hard for him to fight it. He touches everything, all of the time. He talks constantly and if he's not talking he hums, sings or makes other noises. He exaggerates coughing and is the loudest child in the park/ restaurant/ house. He finds it hard to sit still and eat nicely at the table. He lashes out when overwhelmed with emotion and can be sensitive. His cm describes him as a clown and he loves making people laugh with slapstick humour. Ironically he is also a firm favourite with both adults and other children, makes friends easily and is funny, loving, affectionate and bright. We've had our moments of wondering about adhd but have finally come to the conclusion that he's a quirky extrovert and it's his personality. We base this on the fact that he is very capable of focusing for long periods on tasks he enjoys, he can sit quietly through a feature length film and sleeps soundly all night long 99 per cent of the time (though does have occasional night terrors, as does his dad).

ADHD children are able to concentrate on something they are interested in. It is called hyperfocus. It is a common misconception that they cannot concentrate on anything.

DS1 was very 'quicky' and a bit of a clown. He loves to make people laugh. He is very popular and loud. At school he is 'spirited' but doing well.

DS2 on the other hand - I knew there was 'something' from about 18 months or so. He was slow to speak. Violent to others, we often left social events early. Massive meltdowns. Controlling and finds it difficult to cope when things don't go how he wants. For want of a better word both my boys are manipulative - they are clever at working it so that they get what they want.

They both have times when they are liked coiled springs - they just need a outlet to realise the energy inside them.

DS1 was pretty much born hard work.

Diagnosed with ASD with associated hyperactivity at 3.

Modified to ADHD with atypical ASD at 6, after undergoing a full ADHD screening. Started straight away on medication (Strattera).

Might also be worth reading up on sensory processing disorder or asking the senco for a referral to an OT for assessment.

Your dd sounds awesome to me : )

She may have a small difficulty to do with perception / spatial awareness / co ordination and an OT will give some activities which can help to develop these skills.

We use lots of activities to help calm ds down such as playing pushing and pulling games,crossing the midline of the body,finding and seeking activities. We also burn off energy by running,jumping,swimming,playing football,dashing round the park- etc

For what it's worth,I would encourage your dd to attend the 'social group' because they can be very effective think I might have a sharpish word about it being a 'social skills' group,it's a rubbish name for a group

Anyhow,if you have time,have a look in the sn topic section at the spd thread.

Thanks for that LittleLion, they do sound very similar! Oh yes the touching thing, in shops, everywhere. Going to the shops is very hardwork, she gets very carried away. I could never describe her as 'naughty' though..again just spirited, and quirky like you say! She can also sit through a film at home or the cinema, or listen to me read stories etc.

I sometimes worry about her being the 'clown' because I don't want her to be laughed at. She can be such a big character that I notice one little girl at school hid behind her mum when dd arrived in the playground once!

Thanks cece, do both your DS have adhd?

yes they do.

I remember well the day that ds2 pulled 2 rows of packs of pants off the rail in primark and threw them around

Ds1 once pulled a packet of toilet paper from the bottom of a huge stack at the end of an aisle in the supermarket. Fortunately the staff assumed they had fallen on him and were more concerned that he had been hurt. I kept very quiet!

He's just been into town and bought me a jar of cashew nut butter for Mother's Day. He was trying to find pumpkin 9 bars which he knows I love but apparently "Holland and Barrett only had the individual ones which weren't cost effective". He's worth every stressful minute!

Oh and the day DS1 broke a shelf holding a load of ceramic lamps in BHS....

9 bars are lovely, He has good taste, Eva!

DS1 is all about the touching.

DD1 has just been diagnosed with ADHD at 14. Apparently girls are often missed as they tend to misbehave less than boys as they are more inclined to fitting into social expectations. She apparently is less impulsive but struggles more with attention.
I've know for a long time but was resisting a diagnosis as she was coping. Just as the pressure has racked up at school her lack of attention and organisation is starting to really affect her school work -I don't want her to mess up and I fear she might. (I suspect I have it too and went completely off the rails at about her age). I felt I really had to get her some help.
She wasn't an easy baby - she didn't sleep etc. (She was in ft nursery from 3 months though (I had to go back to work).) At weekends and evening she was hard work - she had fantastic tantrums -really lost control.
When she started school she struggled to make friends (but she didn't know any of the other children and the others had already known each other from years - from toddler groups, then playgroup, school nursery etc).
She is lively - a mum of a friend described her as 'wild'. I actually asked the mum of another friend (a teacher) what she thought of her when she was 'hyper' - was it it 'normal' ? (It isn't apparently) and she has always been awkward - stubborn, oppositional.
At school she struggled to concentrate - she could read before starting school so that was never a problem but maths was. It would take her hours to do maths homework that should have taken less than 20 mins. She is very bright. She is also the youngest in her year -so for many years her lack of concentration was put down to her being young.
One thing that made me really think was when she started guides the leaders called her the 'mad brownie' - and they were used to dealing with children exactly her age -she wasn't the young one etc.
Looking at her school (primary and secondary) reports - lack of focus and concentration are the two words that appear under more or less every subject/area. Even her dance class report uses those words.
She also chewed things - still eats pencils - and fidgets and doodles.
I did mention I thought she might be at primary and her teacher just said hmmm...at secondary I mentioned it to teachers at parents' evening a year ago and some of them said it was interesting, definitely possible -one (maths teacher) said straight away that was probably the case.
And she lost everything too -jumpers, bus passes, keys, her phone although she is getting better at that - and she forgets things...her tray at primary was a chaotic mess of notes that should have come home etc.
The Dr gave me a couple of booklets about ADHD in girls and they make interesting reading - not sure where they are right now but if I find them I will post the names of them here - maybe you could find them online.
So far she isn't medicated (very early days) but we are working on strategies and the school will to -things like not giving her an hour to do a task but breaking it down into smaller chunks - so 15 mins to do the first bit etc.
Honestly I'm still a bit in shock...I thought they wouldn't be so certain but they were. I and her teachers had to fill in a questionnaire about her - I could see both at the appointment - the schools and mine both follow the same patterns except the schools is two orders of magnitude higher...I guess cos I am so used to it it is 'normal' whereas if you see lots of children it isn't.

Found them ....
Understanding adhd in girls at primary school a guide for parents
By Dr C R Yemula and Dr L Doddamani provided by Shire /health insights4u.com
And
A guide to adhd for parents and families Shire / adhdandyou.co.uk
Your DD might not be but worth a read... just in case good luck!!!

Lots of info here

Thanks for all the advice! Will take be reading these and monitoring the situation closely