Hi, some advice and help would be greatly appreciated.
We have a 4 ½ year old boy. Up to October last year (2014) we had the usual tantrums etc but then we worked with his nursery teachers (he does not start big school until September so he is one of oldest in his class) and his behaviour became really settled and good (most of the time), however in the last month or so things have really taken a turn for the worse; he is defiant, back chats, won’t do what he is asked, says pardon all the time as if he has not heard us. We have managed his behaviour using a number of reward systems; green/yellow/red card, jigsaw pieces leading up to a treat, sticker chart etc but at the moment it doesn’t phase him if he’s put on a yellow card, doesn’t get jigsaw pieces or misses out on the agreed treat, in fact he just seems to think that he will get it regardless. He acts dum and plays up when he is asked to do something that does not interest him even if he is given the choice of a positive outcome if he does. I appreciate that this is probably mild compared to what some parents have to deal with but our household is very negative at the moment and this is getting me down, every day I try to big him up and be positive but I end the days feeling angry, sad and really down. We adopted him 2 ½ years ago and we knew then that he had a stubborn will and his birth father was known to have a temper. We’re trying not to look in to it too much but it is constantly at the back of our minds. I don’t really want to call in the post-adoption support team but that is becoming a real possibility now. We knew the extra year in nursery would be bad for him as he is an intelligent child when he wants to be but sometimes he just acts like he did when he was 3 years old. It feels like we’ve taken a big back-step with him.
Is this normal? Is there anything more/less we should be doing to try and motivate good behaviour?
Thanks.