Is this what you might call high needs?

[DearPrudence79]

I'm not really one for labels but DD has has never been an easy child and I've always felt she was somehow 'different'. Difficult to put my finger on why exactly, but she's just so full-on and I'm a nervous wreck half the time. I feel like such a bad, impatient mum with her sometimes, shouting when she pushes me to my absolute limits and it's really upsetting me. I feel like I'm failing her and that breaks my heart.

Bit of background: she's always been really active - even in the womb from where she once interrupted the NCT class because she was kicking so violently (!), she's never needed as much sleep as other babies. As a newborn I could only get her to do 12 out of 24 hours, if that. Now we're lucky if she gets 8 hours. I'd say in her lifetime she's slept through the night maybe 50/60 times... Fiercely bright and smashing milestones months in advance. She was the first to walk, talk, everything compared to her peers. Full, complex sentences at 18 months, totally fluent talker at 2, now at just 4 she's pretty much a fluent reader... you get the picture.

My main gripe with her at the moment is that she just will. not. leave. things. alone. She's not capable of NOT touching everything in the shop, seeing what happens if she takes stuff apart, getting hold of my wool, for example, and tying everything up with it in the house. I sound like such a fishwife with the constant 'leave it', 'get down!' 'stop that', put that back', 'don't touch that'... and I mean constant... It sounds funny but it's really, really getting me down.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? All four year old can't be like this, can they? On the flip side she's such a happy, outgoing, spirited little thing but it's such a relief that she's at preschool now, so we don't have to deal with her all the time - that sounds terrible doesn't it!? Gah!

She sounds a bit like my eldest DD who is now ten and was assessed for Aspergers in year 3. She had no diagnoses though. My DD also did everything early and still doesn't sleep much.

She does have some sensory issues though and that's what your DD's issues with touching stuff could stem from.

I would look at this website and see what you think.

Meant to say...I find "High Needs Child" a bit of a woolly term. It means nothing essentially. Often used as a euphemism for someone who's a "bit spectrumy" but has no DX and can of course be misused by new parents who are shocked by the demands of a normal baby.

Sounds very much like my two year old, who has never slept through. As awful as this may sound, he's been difficult since the day he was born and I've always felt there's just something not quite 'right'. Fought sleep, screamed/cried, fussed all day everyday since the day he was both. He's very bright for his age (comparing to peers) but tantrums are very much on the extreme end and very difficult to calm him down until he's ready. Hv/docs just says it's his temperament, but I think there is something a bit more too it. I've since had another child, who is the complete opposite so it's highlighting how difficult he is.

If you arr going with the Dr Sears description of high needs children then yes I would say you have one.
I have a high needs toddler. Life is tough. These little people have their brains wired differently. They are more energetic more demanding more emotional more sensitive. And as a result they cry and fuss a lot. Good luck.

Ps I feel a lot like you too. Feel myself snapping when she has cried for the upteenth time then feel so guilty. It's so so hard parenting a high needs little one.