Can't cope anymore

[sammyjayneex]

I have 4 children aged 8, 7, 4 and 3. They are a girls.

They don't respect me and don't behave. They behave for their father when he's here but not me. They make my life so stressful.

They mess about at tea time arguing at the dinner table, youngest two take forever to eat their tea and don't sit on their chair properly. They fight constantly, calling each other names and screaming and fighting with each other. I can't cope. It's horrible in this house. My Husband works full time and even on his days off he books overtime and he goes to the gym two nights a week and I'm the one battling to keep them in bed. I did get a break for two nights as I got a weekend away booked for my birthday but as soon as o get back things don't change. I am a SAHM so I'm at home all the time. The break was a one off and won't happen again so I'm back to this stressful life for good now.

They really push me to the limit and I can't cope anymore. They never listen to me. My 3 year old is really hard to settle when she's upset which stresses me out more.

They usually don't settle till 23:00 when their dad is not here even when they are put to bed at 7:30-20:00. I don't get chance to clean in peace or make myself any tea in peace because they are messing about upstairs so I am up and down all night.

Taking items away from them doesn't work either. They just don't care.

It sounds grim Do you include them in the cooking, cleaning etc. doing role play, being very fair with them ? (so they each have a turn on the computer or telly whatever ) and use a timer.

Allow the older ones to 'come down ' for a short while at bedtime if they get ready for bed with the younger ones nicely and 'pretend they're asleep'. Sometimes this works for getting them all to sleep if not keep your word.

You do have to be consistent and not to forget what you've said. so pick your battles. Think about why you say no to things.

You may have a favourite but make sure they don't know it. I speak as an x CM\nanny to about 12 (not altogether of course!!) EY teacher, Mof 3

If I were you I'd be asking oh to get more involved for a few weeks at least. Decide which battles you are going to pick and present a united front with appropriate sanctions dependant on age.

Hi Sammy -

I worked with primary children as TA and voluntary helper, for twenty-five years. And, Yes, we used to have a few like this, who could not be controlled in class - so I dread to think what they might have been like at home.

Do you know how your older girls behave at school, and what their academic and social performance is like? Are they happy at school?

Occasionally there might be an identifiable medical reason for the behaviour, or some domestic trauma might have unsettled a child, but often there was no discernible explanation.

Is the situation severe enough for you to seek advice from your GP, or from Social Services?

If you wish, I can discuss this further with you via a PM. Let me know, if you would like to.

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