Hugs cuddles and kisses at 10 months?

[jane313]

I'm probably being a ridiculously over anxious mother but I have become slightly fixated on the fact that my baby son of just over 10 months nearly always pushes me away when I hug or cuddle him. I really try not to compare him with others but I just wondered when other people's children seemed to respond to that sort of affection? He is a very happy baby, chats, laughs and smiles a lot, walks whilst holding on, loves finger food and tries to stand alone (and then he looks like hes doing a one man mexican wave)

My dd doesnt like to be held let alone be hugged or kissed or anything. Everytime you go to kiss her, she'll look away, and everytime you go near her, she crawls away. So I would say it's anything for you to get worried about.

tbh i cant remember that far back!! (ds is 3.6) sounds like hes so busy discovering new things and learning that hasnt got time for cuddles! do you get cuddles etc at bedtime and when hes tired/upset?

You wait until he is older. When i go to kiss my 20 month old ds he actually says "no, no,no"!
Wouldnt worry - ds has always been a bit like this - but as he is getting older and needs my reassurence he is more affectionate.

From how you describe your little boy he seems happy, confident and well adjusted, so you are doing everthing right in making him feel secure and hapy.

thanks for the replies.

He is sometimes a bit cuddly when he has hurt himself and once when he was ill.

Its so stupid really as I would probably get just as worried if he was really clingy!

My DS got cuddly not long after his first birthday - but at 10mths, no way.

Just starting to get the odd cuddle now at 14 months, only when he feels like it and only when he's sleepy.

Jane, I wrote a similar post to this called 'comforting a non-cuddly baby' or something like that. I had some good advice on it.

Since writing it I have to say that dd, now 18 months, can't get enough cuddles these days. It's quite remarkable how she's changed. In fact it has down sides as before she was always so independent she went off to sleep on her own like a light. Now she doesn't want us to leave her. So in that respect I'd make the most of it for now!

message withdrawn

at 2 and a 1/4 ds became really cuddly and loving, and wants me around a lot. I love it, because he never cuddled before then, not even if sleepy/unwell. I used to resort to reading him "the baby who wouldnt go to bed" because the baby in it cuddles his mum, and he would act that bit out when we reached it and it was the only cuddle I got!

DS goes between extremes... has been clingy for the past couple of weeks (and I would get a good hug when I first picked him up if he wanted to be picked up) but if I tried to initiate cuddles on my own, they were rejected. In general, if he's in the mood for a cuddle or kiss (reasonably rare) he will oblige but most of the time, it's like "Mum, I'm busy doing something, don't bother me!". DS is 8 months.

DD seems to fluctuate. She kissed everything in sight - soft toys, pictures of bears etc - but not us, from about aged 12-14 months. Then we had a glorious few weeks of getting lots of kisses. Now she's 15 1/2 months and has gone off kissing again. When I tried to kiss her as she left for the nursery this morning, she said 'No! No!', but gave me a big smile. I imagine it's because she's experimenting with everything, including how she feels about interacting with us.

My ds is MUCH more cuddly at 31 months than he was at 10 months. We get lots of cuddles and kisses and compliments now - and lots of 'I love you soo much mummy.'

My autistic son was very cuddly at that age (still is). His NT (normal) brother has always been less cuddly. Mainly becuase he's far more interested in playing than cuddling. He's 2 now and does cuddle me but often because he's noticed his brother is getting a cuddle (jealous) or because I've aksed for one- when I get a quick hug. Theonly time he's really cuddly is when he's sleepy.

By itself, not being cuddly isn't a sign of problems so I wouldn't worry unduly.

Wow
was I releieved when I read this. Haunting feeling of somehow doing something wrong cos dd 1 has been bit stand offy cuddleswise since dd2 born (bout 8months) it's very varied - sometimes I get her crawluing allover me other times (like today) i asked for a kiss and she said 'no don't wantto'

I think there's been some sibling stuff going on, but she isn't really as cuddly with me as little one. Love her to bits but feel this is prob something that goes in extended phases and also differs from child to child. Went thru a phase of feeling v down about it but as soon as I stopped worrying, things seemed to improve!

glad you posted cos think it's v normal

Jxxx

thanks for all those responses. It still amazes me how different every child is. Hes started hugging some of his toys a bit but prefers to bite me!

my dd wasn't very touchy feely until about 13-15 mths when daddy coming home from work sprked off impromptu kisses, now she cuddles everything in sight and kisses lots and lots!
Whereas my 1st was a born snuggle bunny from birth and now aged 10 he is still very cuddly...

jane, my ds was exactly the same at that age. very disheartening. he's 2.6 now and gives lots of hugs and kisses BUT only when HE feel like it!

At 10 months dd didn't like being held or kissed at all. At 19 months she can't get enough of it! She'd live on my knee if I let her ...