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I suspect DS has dyspraxia (or someting) - don't know where to start

24 replies

DinoMight · 03/03/2015 13:52

I'm a complete beginner at this so I apologise if I say anything clumsy on this subject.

He's 10 and in general seems to be developing well but there's a growing, niggling collection of things which don't seem quite right to me and whilst these things are in no way unmanageable, I don't want to just brush it off if he or I could be getting some help and guidance.

So i'll list down the things that collectively are bothering me:-

He has always struggled with handwriting and still doesn't hold a pen properly.

Same with eating with a knife and fork, very awkward and gets upset and frustrated if I try to show him how.

His hands shake visibly when he's doing fine motor stuff like tricky Lego assembly.

He can't tie shoe laces.

He makes some kind of noise, chatting to himself, humming, sound effects while he's playing, all constantly, - sometimes even when someone is talking to him, he'll still be humming.

He makes strange noises in his throat at any and all times, i.e. not when he's particularly anxious or anything.

He finds it hard to sit or stand still, often paces around while he's talking.

He can throw fairly well but cannot catch, will always duck or shield himself - hates team sports.

He's recently started to get fixated on time, how many minutes until x, how long since y, he's wanting to leave earlier and earlier to get to school.

He gets almost inexplicably anxious in certain situations, for example he was queueing with me for a toilet and became agitated and it was almost impossible to persuade him to continue to stay with me. - probably a bad example but it was like I couldn't talk him out of his concern.

It's becoming harder to reason with him, even when he knows I'm watching him - he's not behaving how he knows I would want him to - for example at swimming he's bobbing under the water not listening to the instructor when he knows I'm just feet away, and I say EVERY time 'listen to and watch the teacher' - and it's only a half hour session.

At odds with all that is what he does do, - he does very detailed drawings in one long continuous line, barely taking the pencil from the paper for the entire time.

He has extensive and detailed knowledge of subjects he's interested in, for example reptiles - and he's confident in the accuracy of his information.

He's very good at spelling, good use of vocabulary. Very good at mental arithmetic.

So that's it's - as I said nothing unmanageable at all but I just don't want it to affect him to the extent he becomes withdrawn from his friends because he's different from them, if I could be doing something to help him out.

TIA.

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 13:58

Popping to your GP and asking for a referral to the Community Paediatrician is your best bet. My son was referred, and the paediatrician referred him to the OT who diagnosed it. Have you looked on the Dyspraxia web site?

Endler32 · 03/03/2015 14:01

He sounds very similar to my dd who has Aspergers and dyspraxia ( they often over lap ). Talk to your gp and see if they can refer him for assessment, also talk to the school and school nurse. He sounds like a lovely boy btw, I find my daughter very interesting with her little quirks and knowledge of things, she loves drawing too and is very bright.

mankyscotslass · 03/03/2015 14:13

Your DS sounds very like my 9 year old DS in lots of ways my thread- we are going through the long process of diagnosis now.

Go to your GP and ask for a referral - I got one eventually to a Paediatrician at the childrens hospital, who has referred us on to the Community team (still waiting on that appointment) - they suspect Aspergers or Dyspraxia but not got a diagnosis yet.

We have also been referred for Occupational therapy and physio as he is Hypermobile.

Go to your GP and start from there - I tried through school first but other than complain about his writing school are happy enough with him and his progress so would not spend money referring him - even though he is clearly not reaching his potential!

Good luck!

AugustaGloop · 03/03/2015 14:27

I have wondered the same about my DD 10. She is not good with cutlery, messy handwriting, generally uncoordinated, extremely disorganised and loses/forgets things all the time, sticks her tongue out when running etc. She also still wets the bed sometimes. She is shy and finds it harder than her sister to make friends, but she is very endearing and has made a couple of good friends over time and certainly no-one dislikes her. She has been learning piano and finds it very difficult and has made little progress (difficulty seems to be coordinating 2 hands doing different things plus reading the music at the same time). On the other hand, she learnt to ride a bike easily, no particular problems with swimming other than lack of stamina. She can tie her laces but was late to do it and has to concentrate (sticks her tongue out). She is bright (just got into an academically selective school) so it does not seem to be holding her back particularly but I suspect she spends some energy on trying to compensate. She does have an amazing memory.
I am most concerned about the bedwetting which she has been seeing a consultant about, essentially as a standalone issue (she just does not wake up even when alarms etc go off).
I would though be interested to hear the benefits of diagnosis particularly in a more marginal case. Also to know if there is any link between bedwetting and dyspraxia.
Sorry to hijack!

Eva50 · 03/03/2015 14:51

I could have written all that about my ds1, now 19, who has an ADHD diagnosis. I do think all these things overlap. I agree that you should speak to your GP about a referral to the community paediatrician. It may also be worth speaking to the school to see if they have noticed anything.

DinoMight · 03/03/2015 16:02

Thanks all, - I phoned the Doc and we've got an appointment this afternoon!

I'm guessing he won't want to know all the detail at this stage but at least I've got a few of the main things down in type today in preparation.

Another thing I forgot was that as a baby he was quite late sitting unaided, never crawled and went straight to walking by about 14 months, - seems to be an indicator of something according to some sites.

There's so much he can do well which throws me, probably why I haven't really had any strong feelings about it until now. A few sports which you would think require some co-ordination and balance such as knee-boarding, waterskiing, snow skiing - he picked them all up quickly and can do well, - and yet can't get the cap off a bottle of drink, get into a bag of crisps or get a tin pencil case open.

About 3 years ago we had a couple of hospital appointments (referred because the school had noticed his shaky fine motor operations) but the tests they did were pretty useless, - testing the strength of his limbs and grip, walking in a straight line etc. They also tested for thyroid issues I think which came back with no problems. Told me he needs to do more Lego and make plasticine models to improve his fine motor skills and that was it Hmm

OP posts:
Endler32 · 03/03/2015 16:13

My dd2 missed out the crawling stage, apparently this can cause problems with muscle tone, dd1 was late sitting and walking, as well as her Aspergers and dyslexia diagnosis she has hypotonia ( fluctuating tone ) and hypermobility.

Aspergers/ASD, ADHD and dyspraxia over lap quite a bit ( similar traits ).

Hope your gp is understanding and gives you a referral.

pieceofpurplesky · 03/03/2015 16:31

Sounds like aspergers dyspraxia mix. I have dyspraxia - and I think my son is following in my wonky footsteps!!
Hope you get some help and understanding feel free to pm me with any questions.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 16:56

Ds was walking really early (10 months I think) but never crawled. He has a Social Communication Disorder, so the social skills issues with Aspergers but none of the other traits like obsessions or a need for a routine. He can be OK but he can't differentiate who he's speaking to or adapt his speech. Everyone is a mate at school, so I get him talking to me about all sorts of things that you don't really tell your mum!

DinoMight · 03/03/2015 17:16

Right, Doctor has said he will refer to an OT, had no idea how long it will take so just have to wait for a letter.

He spoke to me and to DS who answered all his questions through clenched teeth, - which he does when he feels self conscious - so I'm not sure if he really got any of the responses!

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 17:31

It's OK, the GP will have understood. It took 6 weeks here for an OT appointment. They sent out questionnaire. Ds was given a few sessions to help but she could only work on a few things. He uses a laptop now for school as his hands get very painful so it was helpful. We had to wait for 6 months for this after the assessment though, just to warn you.

I'm trying to find a speech and language therapist at the moment. This is harder then getting appointment with the OT.

DinoMight · 03/03/2015 19:47

Thanks Sybil I'll prepare for a wait, I feel better having made the first step in the meantime.

It's weird how it's dawned on me how he is, I'm seeing him through different eyes suddenly and feel awfully guilty for being impatient/intolerant at times.

OP posts:
Canshopwillshop · 03/03/2015 20:02

Sounds similar to my DS who was diagnosed with dyspraxia a few years ago (he is now 8). Like your DS he was late sitting unaided (14 months), skipped crawling but walked at 14 months. His speech is still not very clear at times and he sometimes dribbles when talking. He sticks his tongue out to aid concentration. He has very poor handwriting and struggles with cutlery. He lacks coordination in lots of things and hates team sports. He has never been able to do Lego (but managed Hama Beads?!). He also managed a 2 wheeled bike at an early age so not all things fit.
Good luck with the referral. I was reluctant to have my son 'labelled' as such but it has been helpful for me to be able to be more tolerant and understanding and also for him to get the extra support he needs at school.

Canshopwillshop · 03/03/2015 20:03

Sorry, should have said 11 months for sitting unaided!

TeenAndTween · 04/03/2015 15:04

Cans Lego requires more spatial awareness than Hamma Beads I think.

You are all so lucky getting diagnoses whilst at primary.
We got DD's when she was 15.5.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 04/03/2015 15:05

Ds was 13 when he was diagnosed. It was missed by 4 schools Confused

orangepudding · 04/03/2015 16:20

If you can afford a private OT assesment I would definatley recommend booking an assessment. In my area OT services are sparse and my son wouldn't have his dyspraxia diagnosis if he had only seen the NHS OT.

TeenAndTween · 04/03/2015 20:52

It took around 4-5 months for DD's OT assessment after GP referral.

Having the assessment has been fantastic. tbh I only pushed for it to help with transition to 6th form. But from the assessment and associated information provided DD is now getting (some) of the help she needs:

  • coloured paper for some exam papers
  • extra time, and allowed to stand and stretch in exams
  • dropped a GCSE
(As well as motor skills, DD presents with organisational and planning issues).
Mitzi50 · 04/03/2015 21:02

www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/dyspraxia-children/symptoms/

If you've not seen this already

Canshopwillshop · 04/03/2015 21:23

Teen - thanks for explaining the Lego/hamma bead thing. I thought it was just about fine motor skills. My DS also struggles with organisation. He never knows what day of the week it is and if his teacher tells the class about a forthcoming event he always thinks it's going to happen the very next day.

TeenAndTween · 04/03/2015 21:46

Can Yup I think understanding time can be one of the hard things, though I think other 8 year olds struggle too.

Watch out for organisational stuff as he gets older. You may need to scaffold things for much longer than other parents. e.g. time management for homework, systems for organising books etc.
Also the thing that went missed / not understood for DD for so long is that she struggles to structure essays which obviously has a big effect on some secondary subjects.

Canshopwillshop · 04/03/2015 22:07

Thanks again teen. I am glad your DD is getting help. Can I just ask how coloured paper helps?

TeenAndTween · 05/03/2015 11:08

The coloured paper is I think to do with dyslexia/dyspraxia crossover. She finds texts easier to read with a blue filter or on blue paper. So blue is best, white is so-so, and yellow is terrible. But white is apparently better for numbers?!
She has trouble finding information on a page of text. She often 'cannot find' info even when I have told her it is there. She (and I) find it extremely frustrating.

Canshopwillshop · 05/03/2015 11:39

Ok, that's interesting. I am still waiting to find out if DS is also dyslexic - he has been tested at school and they have put him 'at risk'. They are keeping an eye on him for it.

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