How to deal with a picky eater, a tad confused, advice please

[kjaysmum]

I know there are fussier eaters out there than my ds as I've read the threads! but.... I would really like him to eat more of what we eat, he hasn't eaten mashed potato to date so tonight I cooked a very simple fish pie and dished it up to us all, with a little tomato ketchup ontop, he wouldn't even taste it. He demanded pudding, which is usually fruit and yoghurt, which I refused explaining that he hadn't even tried his dinner so he couldn't have any pudding. I've sent him to bed on a rice cracker and a bottle of milk, is this the correct approach, any tips on how to expand his tastes.

What are |Kumera chips??
Let us know how it goes.
I am really interested in non aversive ways of changing behaviour,especially as have just started MSc in this field.

Sweet potato chips from the chippy, naughty but nice. Is a New Zealand delicacy!!
Stir fry tonight, usually we give him the noodles with the veggies and tofu on the side, he always eats the noodles and leaves the rest, tonight we decided to cut the veg up small and mix it through with the noodles. We all sat down and gave him a little organic tamarhi soy sauce on it when he asked. at first he attempted to eat the noodles by removing every tiny bit of vegetable sticking to them, then he just pushed the plate away from him and said "no num nums (food)" and got down from the table. Dp and I said ok, more for us and helped ourselves to his portion saying yum yum. His reaction was unexpected, no fuss he just played with his toys and watched us from the corner of his eye, he did start to bang his toys abit for attention, which we ignored, he asked for pudding once which I refused, he took it very well. That was it, I did give him a fairly large drink of milk before bed. But it amazed me, no fuss from us, none from him

I feel a bit foolish not being able to work this out for myself....still....I am cooking rice and veg with chicken bits mixed in and peanut sauce tonight, I know ds will eat the rice and peanut sauce but if I cut up the veggies and chicken small and mix it in we may have a repeat of the stir fry experience, maybe I should put them in big so he can pick them out if he wants at least he gets to eat the rice then?

kjays,sounds like it is going well.
I would avoid making special provision of any sort.
Kids sniff out weakness from a mile.
Dh and I took our kids to the zoo today and were eavesdropping on a family who were trying to force a little girl to eat,running after her,trying to push bits of sandwiches in her mouth,bribing her with pudding,twlling her she couldn't go on the swings until she was finished and so on.
Of course,none of it was adhered to-everyone got stressed for no reason,she ate nothing,and of course they didn't stop her playing on the swings.

It was utterly ludicrous!

just to say that moondog is spot on.

Did similar with ds and can take him anywhere now. He has a real good attitude to food and will try most anything.

I'm really starting to see the difference of not fussing about it. The zoo family does a ring a bell with me but not so extreme
So last night he ate a wee bit of the pasta and pushed the rest away, no big fuss though, later he ate an apple, I always encourage him to eat fruit so didn't mind at all, he doesn't appear to be starving or getting upset so shall keep at it

well moondog, thankyou so much for the advice, it really seems to be working and it is making our mealtimes a real pleasure, tonight he did pick around the veggies but ate big chunks of fish which I've been wishing he'd do for so long. I shall definately keep going with this, thanks all

Brillkjaysmum.
It aint hard is it really,although the childcare gurus would have you believe it is.

Hello Moondog, just a quick update to let you know, ds is now eating, chicken and fish and trying lots of new stuff. He still eats around the veggies I put in but is much more willing to eat foods with the veggies inside, e.g pancakes with red cabbage,carrot and garlic wizzed in today!!!
So thanks again, top advice which is working a treat.

Hican i just ask, what do you do if the child says she doesn't like the food or that she is full without having had more than a few mouthfulls, do we just say ok and let her get down from the table and go to play and then offer her fruit later?

Yep that's what we've been doing, although I have made the fruit available only if asked for. He doesn't starve himself. Some days he eats like a horse other days like a bird. He knows now that he doesn't get lots of choices of food so if he's hungry he eats or at least tries. It's quite easy to see the difference between when they are being fussy and when they really don't like something after trying this method.