How to deal with a picky eater, a tad confused, advice please

[kjaysmum]

I know there are fussier eaters out there than my ds as I've read the threads! but.... I would really like him to eat more of what we eat, he hasn't eaten mashed potato to date so tonight I cooked a very simple fish pie and dished it up to us all, with a little tomato ketchup ontop, he wouldn't even taste it. He demanded pudding, which is usually fruit and yoghurt, which I refused explaining that he hadn't even tried his dinner so he couldn't have any pudding. I've sent him to bed on a rice cracker and a bottle of milk, is this the correct approach, any tips on how to expand his tastes.

He is 2.5

I think this is the correct approach, only offer food at meal times and he will soon get hungry.
Another idea is to write everything he eats down over the period of a week, and you will probably be surprised by the amount.
Make no fuss when he refuses and make a huge deal of it when he tries something, even if its only one lick!

Cook
Present
If refused,take away without a fuss
Offer nowt else

Repeat as necessary.

so if he'd tried the fish pie tonight do you think I should've allowed the pudding?

or should I only offer it if he eats the pie I'm not sure where to draw the line

hiya moondog
From what age do you think you can usefully start the strict mummy thing?

My youngest is 27 mths,and this is how we've always done it.
Onechoice and no puddings generally anyway.
Sugary yoghurts aren't really that good fro them.
I don't see it as strict,merely logical.Have neither time nor inclination to be rustling up different meals or pandering.

I think I can answer my own question there, I'm being too soft, I was trying to avoid making it a big issue, but now I feel he's taking the p#ss and I know I have to put my foot down but I'm struggling hard to find an approach which is consistant but not too confrontational

I don't think it's 'taking the piss',merely one of those areas where they like to test.
It's not about punishment,just about what you can put up with.
Some MNers seem to cook about three different meals a night,then moan about not being able to take their kids anyway.

I never get angry,or force.
If they don't eat it,so what??

yes moondog, you're right, I'm struggling more to come up with ways to get him to eat and to be honest I've had enough of pussy footing around with this, so I guess if it means a bit of agro it's worth it in the long run, I wonder how long it'll take before he responds, he;s pretty stuborn

Oh,mine are still fussy!
We just refuse to acknowledge it!
Every moan of 'Urgh!!' (have 5 year old too) is met by me and dh saying brightly
'Wonderful! More for us then!'
When i tsake her plate to eat her share,she usually then fights for it back.
It's only complicated if you make it so!

looks like a classic case of ds kicking up a fuss about something and me over complicating it, so I shall take your advice and if he doesn't go for it take it away...end of story, he's going to tantrum probably but we are getting better at staying calm with these and not letting it upset mealtimes

Better a few tantrums now than years of kicking off and complaining.
Not as easy as it sounds always,but be consistent and it should come right.
Good luck!

thanks Moondog

ok, calm, relaxed, deep breaths, make one meal only, hey that leaves me more time for my yoga ...thanks fiofio

Totally agree with moondog. Never turn a mealtime into a power struggle. One meal, served to everyone, if they don't eat it, they wait till next time. In any case, I was always far too disorganised to produce a choice of menu!

kjaysmum,tonight was a good example.
I made stirfry.
Dd whinged and moaned the whole time I was cooking (all ignored)
We sat down.
Dd still moaning and being ignored.
Ds (2) tucked in.

After a while,we cleared,having ignored all of dd's moans.

Later,she helped herself to a tangerine,apple and banana from the fruitbowl,which I am fine with.

No scenes.
No wasted energy
No wasted food.

Hi moondog, I like your example. kjaysmum, we are going through a similar thing and it's comforting to know that somebody else's lovingly home-cooked food is being ignored. ds (3yo) used to eat everything, so I'm hoping this is just a (long-ish) phase. The hardest is to keep calm and not pester him to take a bite. I will take deep breaths and think of moondog.

Hi Lio.
If you make the same thing for everyone,and only give the picky eater a tiny portion to start with,there is no wasting of lovingly produced food,thereby completely bypassing this issue.

I think I can compromise a little by avoiding meals which contain obvious strong dislikes but other than that I am convinced Moondogs approach is the right one. A mum at playgroup today said, give him the fish pie for lunch today...hhhmmmmm a little over the top don't you think.

Aviatrix it's not so much an issue of how much he eats as I said he's picky but eats well, it's just he's getting more and more fussy, I think it's just the latest thing for him to assert himself over, but I just don't have time for it and it's creating mayhem at mealtimes, DP gets abit stressed after a hard day at work and I suffer from bad digestion when mixed with stress, hence the importance to strive to be calm. His desserts are always fruit and none sugar yohgurt but he's asking for it before even taking a bite of dinner, this is too much I think.

thanks for all the advice, roll on tonights dinner

well tonight went brilliantly as we got stuck in traffic and hit the chip shop for Kumera chips...which he loves