DD (8 years) has very few friends and struggles to fit in...

[josben]

I feel very down about it, she has struggled with friendships since she started in reception, and has additional TA help as she has mild learning difficulties/developmental delay...

She basically stands in the queue for her class in the morning and no other children speak to her.... I asked her last Friday and she sat with a child from year 2 at lunchtime ...

I know she is young for her age and a lot of the girls in her year act much older than their years. I just don't know what to do for the best. DD seems happy at school but i know she does not really have any mates, she rarely gets party invites...

I am not saying that she is perfect, I know that she has a temper and she probably struggles with taking turns etc... so this may be why she is not included in friendship circles... Plus I don't think she finds socialising easy, her Year 1 teacher thought she had Aspergers.

DD has 2 older brothers and i sometimes wonder if it doesn't help that she has brothers and not sisters, or is it something that i am not doing to help her nurture a circle of friends,...?

I don't know what to do ... I have had various girls back for playdates but DD doesn't have many invites back. Infact i have given up with the playdates, which is not good i know - i think i will start again next week...

I have looked at another smaller school nearby but this seems like such a big change to make especially as she will start Year 5 in September...

I think that DD is content at school, she doesn't complain about things - I just really worry about her...

Educationally, she is making steady progress but she does struggle with her concentration...

I am not sure what I can do to her DD and this situation...? :(
Any advice appreciated x

It's so hard to watch them struggle like that. One of my DC struggled with social skills early on (although is much better now) and I've cried before about him not being invited to a class party. It's really awful.

I think it's a good sign that your DD seems happy enough. She may just be the type of child that doesn't need as much socialisation as others and enjoys her own company. There is nothing wrong with that as long as she's happy.

The only thing I would suggest is maybe helping her find some younger friends. If she get's on better with younger kids then there is no harm in her having younger friends. Are there any activities she could do with a wider age range where she'd have access to kids a bit younger than her? It can be really difficult to make different age friends at school because everything is segregated by age. If she's friendly with the year 2 child she sat with at lunch maybe you could invite them over for a play? A year 2 child will be 6 or 7 so not even that much younger than her.

I have a friend whose DC sounds similar to yours. He is the same age as my DC3 (7) and we have him over under the pretence that he has come for a playdate with DC3, but in actual fact he completely ignores DC3 and plays the whole time (really, really nicely) with DC4 who is 3.5. It doesn't matter. My friends DS is happy to have a friend and to be invited to play. DC4 loves playing with him. The age gap just isn't an issue.