5 yr old bad behaviour - does anyone recognise this?

[kizzie]

Hi - having a really tough time with my 5 yr old DS twins. have really started to question whether there is something more than just bad behaviour but wondered whether Im just more affected because Im getting a double whammy. Can anyone idenitfy with these things - do you think theres more to it and if not any tips?
(this is a combination of them both)

Running around the house like maniacs - including jumping on all the furniture.

Answering back and being very cheeky

Throwing major tantrums when not getting own way (what you would expect more from 3/early 4 yr old.) Lying on the floor / kicking etc.

Very physical fighting with each other.

Totally refusing to do things even when asked numerous times.

Id be really interestd in any views - even if these are along the line of 'you're a crap mother - get your discipline sorted out.'

This is a horrible thing to say but I feel jealous at the moment of people who have placid/timid children. I know i should be celebrating my own children -0 but Im just knackered and worried about them.
Thanks
Kizziex

Kizzie, I just got DP to read this and asked him if it sounds familiar. He said yes as you have basically described our DS1 & DD to a T. The only difference is they're not twins, but there is only 7 months between them.

I do completely sympathise with you as I feel the same and feel bad for not celebrating them, but it gets you down when every day is the same

I wish I had tips for you, but I suppose if I did then I wouldn't be at the same place you are with your DS's.

hugs from a fellow knackered/worn down mum.

Twins fighting tooth and nail (esp. identicals) -- oh yes, that is spot on.
Speaking as sister/DD/G-DD to identical twins.
Who was it on MN said that boys are like labradors, give them a really long run in the park every day if you want to get anything like decent behavior out of them?

Dont know if it helps..but I have ONE 4 1/2 yo and she does all of the following:

Running around the house like a maniac - including jumping on all the furniture.

Answering back and being very cheeky

Throwing major tantrums when not getting own way - not lying on the floor/kicking etc but floods of tears

Very physical fighting with boys next door and at nursery

Ignoring me when asked to do things numerous times.

.....which probably makes me a crap mum as well

You've describd my nearly 5 year old(he'll be 5 on Thursday so more 5 than 4 now) too. His little brother is becoming an exact copy already and he's not even 3 yet. I dread to think what their 7 month old baby brother will be like by the time he's 3.

BTW, I TOTALLY understand your jealousy of parents with placid children.

My five year old is just like this to. He wears me down in no time and answers back constantly. It's not through lack of dicipline, I just don't know what it is. But I have found that the louder I shout the louder he shouts. So now I try pulling him onto my knee and having a cuddle with him while we discuss what he was doing wrong. It's sort of working and I don't get as stressed out. I guess it would be harder with two because they'll play off each other.

Thankyou!!! for your responses. Its always such a relief to know you're not on your own.
Im making a resolution today to start this week fresh.
Going to try and do more one to one things with them and try (again) to focus on positive behaviour.
Grumpyzebra - it was me who said about the labradors - a woman from their playgroup with boys told me that about 2 years ago and I do think its true - except at the moment even wearing them out doesnt seem to work (and I'm too worn out to wear them out

Thanks again everyone!
Kizziex

HS did no two come early?

I to have 6 yr old son who is always answering back, and no matter what he thinks he is always right. I am not sure of an answer even after attending parenting courses, except that it is better to stay calm with them and talk to them about why there behaviour is inapropriate and how much it is upsetting people around them. This of course takes alot of counting to ten and not exploding. If you scream and shout at them this is the what they are learning from us and they shout louder and you go round in circles until you are both in tears. I have a star chart for my ds, if he behaves he gets 2 stickers a day, this does not work with all children but could be worth a try, at the end of the week if they have earned enough stars through good behaviour then i buy him a small treat, not expensive maybe a rubber or footy stickers, if he is really rude or has sworn at someone then i deduct money from his pound pocket money.

I was wondering that CP3. How do you have kids 7 months apart? I couldn't even envisage having sex for at least 3 months after dd was born

I'd fallen out badly with DD (5) just before we went on holiday last week and there's only one of her, so major sympathy. We stayed at a friend's house and I found a book called "how to behave so your children do too" by Sal Severe which helped a lot - I found it really helpful and things are improving already.

my 6 year old daugher has always been difficult with clothes. Has anyone any advise on getting her to wear what i put out. Whenever we are going anywhere, including school she changes knickers, socks and anything else that doesn't quite feel right. I have tried every way to stop this but i am now at a loss as of what to do as she seems to want only certain clothes on