8 year old DD - whats happened to my smiler?

[mother1234567]

Hi there

Have come to you all in search of some much needed advice.
My daughter who has just turned 8 and always been a happy, quietly confident little girl. For the past few months, the smiles seem to have gone.. and I don't know why - I'm left with a very impatient, strong tempered little child.

She mostly has no time for her 4 year old sister, she shouts at her and is now even hitting her. She is arguing with her best friend and is always getting upset with me (less so her dad). She hates it when I give the little one cuddles, I try to shower the same amount of physical affection on both. I have tried talking to her, and she says she wants some space or she feels not loved, or that I just don't understand.

I don't know how to control her temper or teach her how to control it. I'm getting so stressed with it. I'm going to speak to her teacher.
Any other tips, solutions?

Thanks so much,
A worried mum.

Sounds like normal pre-teen changes. I think the key is consistency from you (isn't it at every stage?). I remember being like this when I was 10 and feeling somewhat out of control.

My DS is 8 now and he's become a bit stroppy too. He marches off to bed in hump instead of throwing himself on me for a hug. I don't think they are aware of their behavior really, just that they are having strong feelings.

Obviously the hitting needs to stop but some of the other changes you probably need to let pass you by.

What about creating a letter box for her to write her feelings to you without the stress of doing it verbally.
Then if you want to talk to her about it you could either write back or sit down and talk with her if those are a possibility.