10 YO DD behaviour - help

[Lillygolightly]

My DD is 10 and is well behaved and is succeeding very well at school and in all aspects I am very proud of her and have little need to worry as she is a sensible girl. However, she is still rather childish for her age....whilst its lovely not to have to worry about the usual growing pains with girls of this age I am becoming concerned that she will be falling behind her peers in her maturity.

She often will talk in a babyish voice when recounting a story from school or asking for something, and is still very attached to her favourite stuffed toy from baby hood...its the first thing she wants on returning from school. She has become sort of clingy of late as well. In all other ways she is a sensible level headed girl who is very good at looking out for her little sister (age 5) and is very protective of her.

What is your 10 year old like? Is this something I should be concerned about...or should I be enjoying the calm before the storm?

Oh...I am also going to be having the 'chat' with her soon regarding periods and all that jazz, as I think that may help her think about growing up etc.

Is she Year 6, or has she moved to secondary school yet?

Children all vary (as you know!) so I don't think it's anything to worry about. Kids do often get into using funny voices (almost as if they feel more secure like that) and it can become an irritating habit if it goes on too long. And it's nice that she still loves her 'teddy' as that is continuity and security.

Don't be surprised if she says about your 'chat' that she doesn't WANT to grow up!

[I don't have a 10 yr old, but have worked with plenty over the past twenty-five years.]

Thank you for your reply Ferguson. Yes I do get the feeling that perhaps she doesn't want to grow up sometimes....almost as if she enjoys being looked after rather than seeking her independence (like I was at that age). As a family we have had some big changes in the past 18 months...moving to a new area and DD moving school. Settling in to a new school is not as easy aged 8/9, and there seem to be a few 'mean girls' in her class...but have resolved this for the most part but not 100 % and DD is a sensitive soul. I think some of these things may have made her feel as though she wants to regress to an age/time when she felt more secure.

She is in Year 5 at the moment, and though a while off I do worry about the transition to Secondary school, I want her to have all the confidence she needs and to feel comfortable in herself. I give her all the love and attention I can and she knows she is a clever girls and thrives on doing well academically. I think that perhaps I need to think of other ways to build her confidence in other areas. I think these 'mean girls' (as she calls them) have knocked her confidence/self esteem quiet a bit and she would never dream of retaliating. One of these girls who had been mean to DD had fallen out with all her friends and was on her own at playtime and bless DD she felt bad despite how this girl had treated her previously and invited her to play with her and her best friend which makes me so proud. Sadly the very next day said girl was back in with usual group of friends and poor DD's friendliness when she was in need was forgotten.

Ahhh its so difficult when they go through such things, and you can't just magically fix it all for them :( it makes me so sad for her.

Sorry that was longer than I intended.

My 10 yr old (also yr 5) is still very much a child in many ways, and so are most of her friends. She is sensible and reliable, happily capable with simple cooking tasks and making me a cup of tea, but I have no sense of pre-teen stuff, she is still very much a child (even if she does think the Hunger Games is the best book ever written!). She still loves her teddy more than life itself and he remains imbued with the personality that he has had throughout her childhood as if he were real. She still gets into bed with me every evening for cuddles and stories and fights with younger DS and DD as to who gets to be next to me while I read.... long may it last!

Her friends are pretty much all exactly the same, so I don't think she or your DD are in any way 'behind', it's just that there are some other girls who are further ahead - more like the teenagers they will become. I am aware of a group of girls like this in my daughter's class but don't really know them so well as DD's friends, in fact I was quite surprised by a girl at my DD's birthday party recently who I hadn't met before and seemed so much more.... well, I can't really put my finger on it - grown up / streetwise / sassy / I don't know. She was lovely, just not what I was used to.

I bought my DD a book re periods etc 'little book of growing up' about 6 months ago when she was still 9 and when I asked her if she had any questions she said, 'Mummy, thank you, it was interesting, but it's not really for me yet'. She was calm and unbothered and realised that all that was a bit of a way off.

From what you say it sounds as if your DD does have a best friend, which is great, is she like your DD too? Focus on her friend, if they are happy to do things together and have fun then that should help build her confidence and hopefully the 'mean girls' will fade in the background.