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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

bedtime story

5 replies

emma230475tom · 22/02/2015 20:37

Should bad behaviour at bedtime be rewarded with story time ? After warning there would be no story I was told she didn't want one from me only daddy . After pleading that I wanted to do it I eventually said forget it which resulted in a full on hitting tantrum then an apology but still no story . Should I have persevered? Bedtime is taking longer and longer though her bad behavior and stalling . Any tips pls . She is 4 Thanks

OP posts:

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MrsTawdry · 22/02/2015 21:11

I don't think story time should ever be used as a punishment for bad behaviour. That time is a comfort and regularly spending that time with them helps them to grow more secure in themselves.

When ours ask for a particular parent we try to accommodate that...it's not a treat for either of us...it's the child's time really.

GrumbelinaPicklebottom · 22/02/2015 22:27

I agree - story for my children is part of our bedtime routine and I would feel very mean withdrawing that comfort and familiarity right before bed. Also, I wouldn't want my children to fall asleep feeling I was upset with them.

I am not sure if I have misread your post, but it seems like there is a bit of inconsistency in your approach (though I appreciate you may have left out some detail). It reads as if you told her there would be no story, she said she wanted her dad to read her a story. Presumably you changed your mind and then pleaded (plead?!) to be able to read the story, but then told her to "forget it"...?

If that's the case, then perhaps it may help to decide on an approach and follow through with it...? Maybe the mixed messages (about what is acceptable and what is going to happen) are confusing her...?

Parenting is hard hope things get better for you soon.

odyssey2001 · 23/02/2015 00:26

We would never withdraw story time as a punishment. However, as we follow the natural / logical consequences philosophy, a refusal to get undressed at bedtime (for example) is classed as time wasting in our house so story may be removed for that (after a number of other strategies are employed).

Remember the punishment must for the crime (i.e. it must be a logical consequence) and this is very much the last resort - the nuclear option, so to speak. We have done it maybe three times in the last year and it sends a very clear message.

So in conclusion, it really does depend on what you class as bad behaviour. I do also agree with the above poster that you may have confused her.

nightswift · 23/02/2015 00:30

Mine are a bit older and "no story" is the ultimate threat in this house - it works when nothing else does. Things have to pretty bad though to carry out but it really hits home in a way that nothing else does.

Iggly · 23/02/2015 00:33

Bedtime stories are not a reward for good behaviour so no. My DCs are 5&3.
"After pleading that I wanted to do it" - er why did you do that?
Bear in mind that at bedtime,she will be tired so will play up. I find more tiredness = more messing about. So I try and stay calm and get done asap.

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