Stressed about nursery (1yr old)

[Panickypants]

Hello everyone! Looking for some advice and thought this would be a great place to come! I'm stressing about a full time return to work and my little one (1 year old) starting nursery. One of my main concerns is his eating times/routine. So they'll do lunch at 11.30 and dinner/tea at 3.30. The latter is too early for a final meal isn't it? So I'd pick him up at 5.10, get home at 5.35, feed him another tea at say 5.45, bath 6.15, bottle 6.45 and bed 7. This all seems like a horrible rush. What time do you get home, do dinner and bottle etc? What time should a 1-2 year old go to bed? He'll be woken at 6.30am every day. I'm ridiculously wracked with guilt that my time with him will be so little and rushed. Any guidance (particularly from mums who do an end of day collect) would be hugely appreciated! Thanks x

Don't worry about it. My ds nursery gas the same timescale & I actually knew in advance & kept him on that 4 hour routine from bottle feeding & weaning.

I've always picked him up 5:20 got home by 5:30 & provided food. In the baby room he had a more substantial 'tea' than he now gets as a toddler. The 11:30 'lunch' at nursery has always been a substantial meal. So depending on what he's had I've got a series of quick fix meals that I can prepare from 5 min quick cook pasta, omelette or high calorie sandwiches (brown bread, peanut butter & jam), crumpets, bagels etc. this is all accompanied by a drink of milk. The drink of milk was a post bath / pre bed fill me up but now we've toilet trained it's provided with the meal/snack.

Bed was always 7pm but has drifted to 7:30 now he's 3.5 yrs old. We now don't do bath every night, but whilst in nappies we did still do that. Get up is 7am.

It is a bit of a rush, but I've just accepted its the way it is as a working mum. (I compress 4.5 days into 4 & my consolation is I get him all day on a Monday. ) You will find your groove & tricks that work. I've had periods where I feel like I'm rushing & bullying him to get out if the door on time in the morning, or upstairs at night, but you just have to get a grip periodically, pretend you're a cbeebies presenter & find motivational methods to get what you want easily!

We gave up on daily baths q quickly after dd started nursery. Now baths are fun morning luxuries for non-nursery days, or for Sunday evening. Once she is a bit older and going to bed a bit later I'll build them back in to her evening routine but honestly she gets so tired she wouldn't cope right now.. In fact when she first started nursery she was only having milk and then going straight to bed.

When ds first started nursery we got home at 6pm and he was in bed by 7pm. Nursery really tired him out and he was cranky and ready for his bed.

I also thought 4pm was too early for dinner so he had a small snacky dinner at nursery and his main meal at home. I would prepare our evening meal the night before so I didn't have to cook when we got home. Dinner, bath, bed, very rushed and no quality time in nursery nights .

Why does the child need another 'meal'? If having two decent meals at nursery and then a bottle before bed isn't that enough? I would do a rusk/yoghurt/pot of fruit only and agree daily bath totally not needed.

Regarding guilt - there's no place for this. You working brings you rewards that you share with your child as well. That's why you do it. No need to feel guilty about doing that. Yes your time at the end of the day is brief but it's still a lovely cuddly, snuggly time.

Home around 5.45pm
Snack tea at home
Upstairs 7 ish
Bath some nights
2 or 3 stories and milk

Just wait til you have to fit in reading practice and homework too!

I collect DS at around 6:30pm (he's two) and he gets a snack when we get home but I wouldn't cook him another meal. My DH gets him earlier some weeks depending on his shit pattern. DS has never asked for more and he's a huge eater. He does get two breakfasts though - one at home, one at nursery (he gets up at 5:30am crycry). We do baths most nights, just very quick as he's not a great sleeper and I want to keep a routine. He's in bed by 7:30pm. I get in the bath with him and we sing and play splashing games to tire him out - although your DS sounds like he sleeps well so you won't have to bother!

It's a bit rushed sometimes but it's ok, you'll both get used to it. I'm glad it's quick tbh I'm bloody knackered after a 5:30am start, nursery drop off, day at work, commute, nursery pick up, then bedtime routine!

SHIFT pattern. Christ

Thanks very much - I guess I feel a bit emotionally overloaded at the moment as totally dreading my impending return to high stress job - eeeek! X

Don't worry, you'll find a routine that works.

It depends on how well your ds eats the meals at nursery (and what they serve) but you might find your ds doesn't want much after nursery. I give dd snacks en route home (oat crackers, banana, muesli bar etc) and she doesn't want much more than fruit/yoghurt (if that) when she gets home (and she's a big eater).
Helps that the nursery serves a proper, cooked lunch and tea, both with pudding.

We've always done bathtime but mainly because dd loves it so its more like calming playtime. Bedtimes will also gradually move later once your ds grows older and settles into a nap routine (dd is living proof that even the most reluctant of nappers will fall into a sleep routine at nursery).

The mornings are a rush admittedly but I feel we do everything we can to make weekends full of fun stuff, cuddles and our undivided attention. Our jobs mean we can afford to outsource household chores as much as possible so weekends are real family/friends time.

Any honest SAHM will tell you being at home with kids isn't all baking cupcakes and playdates (unless you can afford the housekeeper to go with it :)

6:00 pick up
6:15 dinner
7:20 bath
7:45 stories and songs
8:00 bed

7:00 wake up

Find a routine that works for your family.