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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

3 year old, awful behaviour feel like crying

12 replies

Ruperta · 18/02/2015 19:53

We are staying with the in laws and have been since Sunday - gradual deterioration from bad to terrible behaviour. I feel like crying, I'm so embarrassed by his behaviour. He is rude, ungrateful, complains about everything, kicks off about everything. I feel like our time together has been ruined.

He has moments of being nice and chatty but generally he is coming across to everyone as a horror.

I just want to go home, I have strained relationship with MIL as it is and i know that she is judging me. I'm judging myself. I really don't know why he is behaving like this.

He isn't an easy child at the best of times but it seems like everything is always wrong with him despite us having a lovely day, his favourite food, doing lots of things with his cousins. He is constantly screaming - I cut the bath short for him today as he started screaming again, then he didn't stop screaming, just full on tantrum - so he has gone to bed without any stories.

I don't know why I'm writing, I'm just so unhappy and don't know what to do.

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Original poster

Ruperta · 18/02/2015 19:54

He is 3 years 5 months

OP posts:

ilikepie · 18/02/2015 19:59

yes. he is 3 years 5 months and he exists to let you down. I have one like that too. He's in a strange environment and dealing with it in the only way he knows. It's so hard but give yourself a break and stop worrying what the inlaws think and remember he's just a baby.

Maybe you could take him off for the day tomorrow, away from the relies for some quality time just you and him? I'm the last person to give good advice though, my 5 year old and 3 year old let me down all the time!

seasaltbaby · 18/02/2015 20:02

Ooh this sounds like a tough situation to be in-how much longer have you got to go? I've a 3 year old too so understand what it can be like, not easy! I'm not sure I've got any magical advice to make things easier for you, but try to be kind to yourself & your DS. He's only 3 & they don't like change much, he's out if his comfort zone & familiar surroundings. Can you engineer it so you can spend some time away from others, have quiet time in the day? Can he talk to you at all about what's going on? Does he know how much longer before he's back home? Be clear about what behaviour is not acceptable, give warnings & remove from situations where need be. He's probably trying to tell you it's all too much. Good luck, hope that's a bit helpful.

seasaltbaby · 18/02/2015 20:02

Original poster

Ruperta · 18/02/2015 20:05

We are going to see my mum tomorrow & my mum has massive judgy pants at the best of times!

I keep on making excuses for him, he is tired, out of rountine etc etc but now I just think its a combination of his personality and me being a bit shit generally at all this parenting crap and I'm therefore producing a raging bull of a toddler. Parenting is not how I expected it to be at all. I have another son too who is 1 - dreading having a 5 & 3 year old!

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Original poster

Ruperta · 18/02/2015 20:07

Meant to be going home on Sunday, really want to just leave tomorrow but my mum who lives relatively close by will go mad if we don't see her

OP posts:

Gen35 · 18/02/2015 20:09

Cut yourself some slack - my dd always behaves worse with us when we are away as all her routines change and they can get anxious just being away.
If your MIL isn't being sympathetic she obviously doesn't know much about children, he's very young and they all have their ups and downs. Tomorrow's another day. Try and figure out triggers - is he not sleeping well, going to bed late, picking up on your anxiety, getting too many treats or junk/not enough exercise etc? If you're really all having a lousy time, go home! If he settles when you're back you have a clue there - we don't stay with relatives now as dd needs calm down time with just us

mameulah · 18/02/2015 20:12

Give yourself a break. Pour yourself a glass of wine and give your DS very, many cuddles. Clean slate tomorrow and ignore as much as you can. As a pp said he is a baby and he is allowed to get it wrong. You certainly don't need the pressure of sorting it all out in front of an audience.

We had a horrible day yesterday and a few sticky and public moments today. Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure that he , and you, are lovely.

Gen35 · 18/02/2015 20:14

Also who cares what judgmental relatives think? Either they love you and try to help or they aren't worth worrying about overmuch. You can only be be parent you are, you just sound tired and down to me - your relatives should be reassuring you not making you feel worse about what all sounds quite normal to me

LionsDontWeaveLentils · 18/02/2015 20:21

I agree with others. He is 3 years old and irrational screaming and being generally difficult is what 3 year olds do. Especially when they are in a strange place, with different routines and relatives making a fuss.

Dd is always horrific the first day and night when we go away and then fine the next day once the novelty has worn off, so he may settle down a bit tomorrow. I now know to not plan anything over exciting and just hunker down and get through those initial 24 hours.

If it isn't better tomorrow then just go home. Tell your mum he has got ill with something horrific and catching. Sound really disappointed if that would help. Give yourself a break

SuburbanRhonda · 18/02/2015 20:27

A whole week away from his comfort zone was probably not the best plan, but I'm sure you realise that now.

Where is your DP in all this?

WLondonMum · 18/02/2015 21:35

I honestly think this is 'normal' three year old behaviour, which doesn't make it any easier to deal with though. It's very hard but the advice above to remember that they are just babies is good. My DC are always worse when they are coming down with something so perhaps he might be under the weather.

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