advice re 21 month old sleep regression

[VJsmom]

Hello, hoping someone can offer some help/advice/support?

DS is 21 months old. Since he was 6 wks he slept through 12 hrs.

Since last Sunday he has refused point blank to go in his cot to sleep. He screams and gets so upset. He made himself sick due to getting so upset.

Every one says do cc and leave him to cry but I just can't. He really does get upset.

I am unsure if this is genuine toddler fear of his room or if he is just pushing boundaries?

The only way we can settle him is to get him out of cot and he falls asleep on our laps.

This is not ideal as I'm sure you will agree.

Has anyone else been through this and if so what did you do and how long did it go on for??

TIA x

bump

Hi, we went through a rocky patch, on and off, from around 18-23 months. Just like your ds, dd seemed terrified of being put in her cot and left alone. So we did a form of gradual retreat. Depending on how bad it was we would either stay in the room with her (but not engaging her at all), or we would leave the door slightly open and reassure her until she was calm/asleep. We introduced a nightlight too, which seemed to help.

Hope things improve soon for you.

If he falls asleep on your lap, and you transfer him into his cot, does he stay asleep for the rest of the night? If yes, what's wrong with doing that if it makes him feel secure enough to sleep?

mmm my wife is putting him in her lap till he sleep then we move him to his bed still sometimes he wakes up and get into our bed without our notice dont know what to do

He does stay asleep until around 5:30 once in his cot so I suppose there.is.no harm but it's still not ideal.

I just hope it's a phase and he will soon snap out of it!

Thanks for replies and hope your dc sleep well for.you

Not 'ideal' by baby manual standards, but perfectly normal for a baby/toddler to want the security of his parents to feel safe enough to sleep. I would dearly love an uninterrupted night through until 5:30am, so if what you're doing is working that well, keep doing it!

My 17 month old has slept through the night since he was 12 weeks old (bar the odd night due to teething or illness) Just after Christmas he had a nasty cold and cough and was struggling to sleep lying down so for the first time ever I took him downstairs and let him sleep upright on me, I was ill with the same thing and knew how rough he was feeling! A few nights later when he was better, he woke in the night and continued to do so nearly every night for over a month, he'd be crying/screaming but when either me or his Dad went in to him he would smile, we would lay him back down and leave the room, he would immediately start again, one night it went on for 2 hours! He also started doing this when we put him to bed at 7.30 some nights, though has self settled since 3 months! We both agreed that we were not going to take him out of his bedroom, instead we did the following: If he was just whining a little we would leave him, usually he would drop off by himself again. However, if he was crying/screaming we would leave him for 5 minutes (sometimes he would stop after a few minutes and drop off) then one of us would go in, give him a kiss, lie him down, say 'it's bedtime', tuck him in and walk out, then if he carried on crying, we would go in 10 minutes after that, do the same and walk out again, just to let him know we hadn't completely abandoned him, but that he was not getting out of bed! Gradually it decreased to every few nights, then a couple of nights a week, and now touch wood he seems to have realised that we aren't going to give in, however much of a big gorgeous smile he gives us when we go in, or how much he screams, Mummy and Daddy are not letting him get up in the middle of the night! Am hoping that we have our sleeper back. Don't know if me taking downstairs that one night he was ill had anything to do with it, or if it was just coincidence, so thought I would mention it. I have also read about an 18 month sleep regression, if you google sleep regressions it seems that babies toddlers can go through them when they are hitting new milestones eg. rolling/ walking/ talking, and my little one has picked up about 15 new words during that time, so could be that? Not sure, just glad I'm getting sleep again, and hope you do soon too, it's so hard when you are sleep deprived! Good luck xx