Resolving without raised voice

[littleraysofsunshine]

In those moments where they are continuously not listening to being asked if they can't do something, if they can stop bickering (especially this one? I end up having to shout. Take this morning... I'm nursing baby, the two girls are in the other room older one (4) winding little one up (2.5) which then sets her off screaming blue murder. I then say come in here.. No response, asked them to play nicely - nothing. Then I ended up raising my voice for them to stop, still nothing, again.. Then I stomped in and separated them placing on each bed. Then they are crying because I said they are not going on our play date now.

How do you react calmly after numerous times. Three or more little ones?

Make sure they can hear you. Look at them and make constant eye contact.

Train them to always respond to anything you say we 'girls I need you need to stop squabbling, can you both please bring me a toy/ can you both please shout to say you have heard'

I think they possibly aren't hearing you the first time, you are getting wound up and they are none the wiser, cue a tantrum when you intervene because they don't know the back story.

Two year old is so defiant.

I try calm. Positive gentle parenting but she does the opposite

Have you read '1,2 3 Magic'? Great for not letting your emotions get in the way. Can work well alongside 'gentle' approaches.

Two year old is so defiant.

I try calm. Positive gentle parenting but she does the opposite

Your children are totally reliant on you showing the acceptable way to behave. If you constantly lose your rag and shout then they will do the same.
I am afraid that it takes patience to be patient.
A course in Mindfulness will help you relax in the face of what appears like extreme provocation.
The calmer and more adult your behaviour towards your children is, the more they will repay you when they are older.

It is bl hard bringing kids up, and I felt like throttling mine on many occasions, but they remember their childhood. They may not remember the words but they remember fear, they remember being made unhappy.
So bite your tongue and count ten.
Please don't shout. Shouting is bullying.

Behave to them how you would like someone to behave towards you, with respect and empathy.
Best of luck, because when we are dog tired, even though we know what is bad behaviour, we all lose our rags.

All you can do is try harder as you are the adult and are supposed to know better.

You don't end up having to shout. You choose to because you don't know what else to do. It doesn't work. Siblings argue and yours are very young. They won't hear you above the battle they are having. Can't you make sure they are in the same room as you if you are tied up with the baby?
It's best to plan ahead and settle them doing something before you feed the baby.

Lots of parents say they end up shouting or have to shout but it is just frustration. The same reason your kids are shouting at each other! But they are kids!

I'll reiterate '1,2,3 Magic' at this point. It's a very supportive book, non-judgemental and unpatronising. Give it a try.