20 month old won't sleep in his cot

[MissMia84]

Hi all,

My DS is 20 months old and always been an ok sleeper. He usually wakes once a night around 4.30am but nothing a bit of water doesn't sort. He sleeps through to 7am.

The last two nights have been a different story... He screams the place down when we put him in his cot for bedtime and continues to scream and cry (not real tears) until we cave. Last night it was 1am (so 5 hours of us going in, soothing, giving him water, putting his lullabies on his CD player, stroking him etc) before I got so fed up and bought him into bed with me. My husband took the spare room. My DS fell asleep straight away in my bed and slept unTil almost 8am.

I don't know why he suddenly hates his room/cot? At nap time in the day he has no problem sleeping. I use a blackout blind in the day so his room is dark so I don't think that he's afraid of the dark. He's not ready for a "big boy bed" as he moves around a lot in his sleep and would definitely fall out. Or do BBB's have side protectors? Any advice on how to get him sleeping in his cot at night again? I want my evenings back!!

Anybody?! :(

Sorry I have no advice but my 21 month old ds is EXACTLY the same atm. He won't even sleep in his cot in the day however when I have a shower he is fine in his cot. I'm at my whits end and understand Where.you re at! If you crack it let me know! x

Snap! Sudden for refusal at 20 months (nap and night time for us). Used to be an amazing sleeper and very very rarely woke even with illness/teeth etc.

We're a month or so on and things have improved a bit. We started off co sleeping on the sofa bed in his room and then sneaking out when he fell asleep but we've now moved him into a bed and have gradually moved from lying with him until he falls asleep to sitting next to the bed. It's a bloody pain though because you need to leave it a good 15 mins after he's asleep or he wakes up when you leave! So evenings now start about 8 rather than 7. I want to get him back to self settling but no idea how we do that

Same here! Going to try taking the cot sides down & converting to a junior cot. Don't know if it will necessarily make any difference but gotta try something......

Do you think it's the whole cot thing then?

I have a toddler bed which we may try if no change by the weekend.

The spoil you when they have been sigh good sleepers don't they!

Yes, I was thoroughly spoiled- we're paying for it now! I have no idea what the cause is. I wonder whether it's a developmental thing- increased awareness of night time/being alone etc? It's coincided with a clingy phase: he's also gone from running off happily to nursery to crying at drop off and has been a bit wobbly with my mum if I leave him with her (and he LOVES his grandma!) So possibly all tied up together? Who knows?

Moving to a bed was a practical thing for us. I really didn't want to co-sleep in our bed (I like it just me and DH!) and he point blank refused to lie down in a cot. For us, the sleep issues coincided with learning to climb out of the cot so we needed to do it anyway.

My DP and I have not shared a bed for a week now! not good!

He hasn't started to try and climb out of the cot, yet!

its almost like he has a.phobia of his cot. All very odd. He sleeps on a mat at nursery absolutely fine.so maybe it is the whole.cot confinement?

Kids hey!

Yes, I think it is the cot, combined with clingy-ness.

DD goes to sleep fine at nursery on a mat, but hates being confined - she stands up in her cot wailing - or behind the stairgate.

I have a 6 year old to get to bed too, usually on my own, so don't have time for DD's nonsense!

I think they just like to try and confuse us! It's nice to know we're not alone though and interesting that they're similar ages.

Cot-phobia is exactly what it seemed like to me as well. But mine still sleeps fine in a cot at nursery I suppose he's not on his own in the room though?

Wouldn't it be great if they came with a trouble shooting manual!

He hasn't had a sleep today, who knows if that will have an impact tonight?

Very interesting that they are all of similar age and have similar sleeping history, must be common in their age but I've never heard of it and none.of his little friends are.going through this.

Maybe its time to ditch the cot and get a bed or cot bed, make it really exciting and make a big fuss 'wow look at this lovely bed, you are such a lucky boy etc etc' and see if that helps!!

My dd was this age when she went into a bed and we never looked back.

DD was a horror last night! DP was away on business, I'm recovering from surgery so can't lift DD & inlaws very kindly came to help.

DD only slept 1hr at nursery, and there was me thinking she'd be tired. Decided to put her down in our bed as I wouldn't be able to lift her out the cot, plus she would disturb DS with her hours of wailing

Despite putting her down at 7.30, she just wasn't tired & she chatted, sang & thrashed about for 1.5 hours. So I gave her some warm weetabix. Still no luck. Eventually, at 9.15, the inlaws carried her down to her pram & I rocked her to sleep in that. She finally gave up at 9.25pm.

Am wondering if she's ready to drop her nap?

Oh no lotsofcheese sounds rough. Did she sleep through once asleep?

My ds didn't nap in the day yesterday and we started bedtime routine half hr earlier as he was shattered. He fell asleep having bottle on our bed then we moved him.into the cot. He woke and screamed so he came downstairs and fell asleep on dps lap at 830!

It must be very difficult for you atm recovering from surgery and dh away. Thank goodness for in laws.

You'd think after a full day at nursery they'd be shattered as it's full on. must be something in the air!

just as we crack it the clocks.will change so we will be back to square 1! oh the joys

Is he coming down with something? DD also 20 months was the same two weeks ago and very clingly, then came down with a heavy cold/virus/cough (I had it too so know how poorly she felt). It's taken a while but we seem to be back on track again. Hope it's the same for you

Thanks all for your replies.

I had a terrible migraine on Monday so DH slept in the spare room so I could get a decent sleep and had he monitor Incase DS kicked off. S0ds laws my son slept until 7am without waking?!!! I mean it's great and all but Im so baffled as to why or how?! My husband did the usual bedtime routine with him....

Weetabix, bath, book, bottle, bed....

Then last night my son woke at 3am and screamed the place down unt I put him in bed with me. He was out like a light as soon as he got in my bed so Im thinking its desperation anxiety.

His cot turns into a toddler bed but doesn't have any side protectors so instead of forking out £100+ on a new toddler bed we are going to Mothercare this weekend and buying a side protector for £40. I feel he may be ready for a big boy bed, but if he's not we can easily put the sides back up xxx

I mean SEPERATION anxiety, not DESPERSTION! stupid phone

Same here - 20 months and having thought we'd sorted the 18 month sleep regression, he's started waking frequently again at night, but just yelling as opposed to crying, lots of noise but no actual tears. My DD started messing with sleep around this age and gave up naps at 22 months which resolved it...but Lord knows I'm not ready for this with him as there is only 11 months between them and naptime is my only break! I've read up on it and am going to leave him 5-10 mins rather than go straight in like I usually do as it goes on for bloody hours, resettling, leaving...wait half an hour and screams again. It's worked in the past.

Similar issues here but because DS has climbed out / fallen out of cot he's now in a bed. And it's worse! He gets up and turns the light on at any time and starts playing / trashing the room. We don't know what to do. And are not amused :(