Possible Developmental problem with 4 year old

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We have just recently had parent/teacher meeting. Our second to date. The Nursery Teacher is concerned that my son is not developing physically as he should for his age. Her rationale for this is he is apprehensive about joining in some activities. She mentioned one which was she asked them to run from one side of the room to another, this he did not do. She said she thought he looked uncomfortable in himself. She also mentioned dyspraxia, which she said she didn't know much about. This scared me and I obviously will take him to our GP. My hubby doesn't agree with her, we honestly haven't noticed a problem with this as hes very rough and tumble at home. This they were surprised by. Anyone se had this. She didn't stop there as well said we needed to have friends round more which annoying me slightly. It seems she feels we don't have time and said as much. A little presumptuous....

Hi. The teacher shouldn't be diagnosing your son, especially with something she doesn't know much about. She's wrong to scare you. Could it be that he feels a bit uncomfortable with the group/another child he's with? Maybe something minor. What is your sons reason for not wanting to join in with things? Sounds like she's judging you when she mentions the friends thing, she could've worded it better, could've asked if he had friends round.
I think it's a bit premature to take him to the doctor. (Although if you feel it's needed, that's your choice.) You say you've not got any concerns. Maybe he might talk to you, has he got anything worrying him? Is he a little shy in groups?

Yes my husband and I think its more to do with confidence as it took him a while to settle into private nursery when he first went. He's always been a bit quiet but certainly isn't like that all the time. He goes in no problem but I am sure he takes everything in.

Well you do what you feel is right, he's your child and you know him best. Maybe they need to concentrate on using techniques to boost his confidence then.

No I do not feel he is shy with other kids, when he likes a child he goes up to them and is really friendly starts talking. I don't think he has a problem in that respect. There are many girls in my son's class who seem quite advanced and much more confident than the boys. I feel the teacher probably has to try a little harder with the boys. I think that if they are slightly slower at learning that's fine, they will learn at their pace. I don't think the answer is march my son to the GP. It makes me worried that she thinks like this....

My last parents evening went the same way - I feel it was more focused on what she feels my son is not doing and should be doing; she also mentioned that he was easily led and was copying some of the other boys. She then finished it by telling me to have friends round more often. I'm just glad we didn't have any longer than ten minutes because she may have added more to that list of things he's not doing....

It sounds as though she is worried about his social interaction but has worded it clumsily. Ask whether school has nurture or friendship groups of which he could be part.
Does he respond to people talking to him? Is he shy? Has he ever had his hearing and eyesight tested?

He attends wrap-around care at the school so has to interact with the younger children and older ones. Something which he really enjoys, and always asks to go back. He goes two days a week both all day, so I'm not concerned about his social interaction. No I don't feel he is shy especially not when we are out and about. He starts conversations with adults and children he dosen't know. I'm going to have his sight/hearing tested but haven't noticed any difficulties in these areas. These would be quite marked and affect every aspect of his day if it was the case.

I just think sometimes perhaps he feels uncomfortable in Nursery and dosent want to join in. This I feel is something for the Teaching staff to work on....

Actually that's not the case with hearing loss, which can be quite difficult to pick up and which can have a marked affect in busy, noisy environments. Ds1 had quite bad glue ear but was only noticably deaf in the classroom (and then only if you were looking for it). Don't think that would have anything to do with running across a room though - unles he couldn't understand the instructions or hear teacher say go.

I'd agree with Barbarian and say that I think unles the child is profoundly deaf ENT are much more used to the reaction of "they can't be not hearing me" than people expecting it.
Ds's hearing was about 10% and I didn't even realise he was lipreading etc. and was told that children adapt so well people can't tell often. In fact I have an adult friend who took her dc to a hearing test, child wouldn't do it, so she did it to show them how easy it was. only it wasn't easy, she found that she'd only got 30% hearing.

The thing is that unless she's saying this sort of thing to everyone,she obviously is spotting something different. She shouldn't be attempting to diagnose, but raising concerns is something that you do expect. Sometimes there will be nothing in it, but sometimes they will spot things you wouldn't see at home simply because it's a different environment and they have 20 other children at a roughly similar stage.