Stuck in a not eating meals & filling up on snacks cycle. Tips?

[dancingwitch]

I feel as though 2.7yo DS is running rings around us with his fussy eating & tantrums meaning he is mainly eating snacks and having a pretty bad diet.
Today wasn't typical but also isn't that unusual. He prevaricated so much over his weetabix that he ended up having dry Cheerios in the pushchair whilst we were taking DC1 to school. If I hadn't given him the Cheerios, he would have screamed "hungry" all the way to school and back (and yes, I do mean that literally even though the walk to school takes 12 mins each way); we went to IKEA this morning where he had a banana and some breadsticks, the banana being his official mid-morning snack and the breadsticks being something he spotted and pestered about and I couldn't face dealing with a full on tantrum again today; he was supposed to have fishfingers, chips & peas for lunch in the restaurant but only ate the chips and spat the fishfingers across the table; about 3.00pm he had half an apple; we picked DD up from school at 4.00 and he had a piece of bread and jam as she did (she'd just done gymnastics) and now they've just had tea which DS has just looked at. The tea is cottage pie which he used to like, baked beans which he likes and peas which he will occasionally tolerate and therefore should be quite a good meal for him as, other than cheese & blueberries, I'm not sure he actually likes any food.
A couple of months ago, we cut out all snacks and lasted three days before we caved. During this time, he still hasn't eaten much at mealtimes and, without the snacks to give him calories, was visibly thinner (and he is scrawny at the best of times). Whilst he wasn't more prone to tantrums than normal, it meant that he was screaming "hungry" or "need food" for about two hours before each meal which, on top of the tantrums, was driving me to distraction
Any top tips?

PS the meals he has been given over the past few days are as follows and, on sitting down to all of them, he has said "I not like this. Put it in bin". I have also listed what he ate voluntarily. Breakfast each morning has been cereal.

Sunday lunch - roast chicken etc - ate the Yorkshire pudding
Sunday tea - home made soup & garlic bread - ate some garlic bread
Monday lunch - bread, cheese, ham & veg sticks (he has never eaten a sandwich) - cheese & cucumber
Monday tea - chicken casserole with rice & sweetcorn - ate a few grains of rice
Tuesday lunch - sausages with mash & carrot - ate the sausages
Tuesday supper - pasta with tomato sauce on the side (he won't tolerate them touching) and grated cheese - ate the plain pasta and the cheese

He does eat fruit & yogurt.

To be honest, I wouldn't worry too much about that intake. He's not snacking that much, and it's not all crisps and chocolate. The meals sound par for the course with a fussy toddler who is possibly going through a non eating phase. Our 3.5 year old ds has always had the appetite of a Sparrow, and is strangely always hungry for snacks but not meals...

maybe up the protein content of his snacks, to make them more like mini meals. It's healthier for children to have little and often anyway, as their stomachs still aren't huge. I've given up stressing about how much ds eats - his 9 month old sister is now often having more than him!

I'd agree with pp. He's small, and probably needs snacks and small meals. Try not to worry, or make him eat more than he needs.

I agree with the other posters, sounds similar to my DS before his third birthday. Just keep offering a good variety but try not to stress. I normally offer a choice (weetabix or toast for breakfast as example) and let him choose, if he says neither then it's 'you choose or Mummy will choose' , if he still can't decide I just give him something and leave him to eat it or not. We also let him try what we are eating (if it's something he hasn't liked or wanted in the past) if he wants to, recently got him eating cheese & pickle rolls (like Daddy) by offering him some.

I sympathise with you op. My 19mth old ate a chicken nugget at his friend's house and really enjoyed it smacking his lips together and everything! This was a miracle for me as the 5-6 days before hand he'd only eaten half a crumpet with cream cheese and a fruit pouch - Flatly refusing anything else. Got home and got to work making a batch of breaded chicken breasts fresh myself - and you know what the little 'pickle' wouldnt touch them. In fact he spat them out with such flare that I had to taste one to check if the chicken was off!!! It wasn't! After a month of fussy eating he is now tucking into more, although he still has firm favourites. Try and ride it out!
P.s. One of my friends went through a phase of only eating marrow fat peas for weeks went she was little drove her mum spare! It passed.

Also, if it helps, I was the fussiest ever eater as a child ad ate next to nothing until I was in my late teens. I am now a very healthy adult in my 30s, almost never ill. I am naturally small (I weigh 7&1/2 stone), and just got completely freaked out when anyone tried to offer me huge meals. To this day I can't face 3 courses or huge portions. But I eat really well now, and healthily.

Sorry no advice, have a look at the book My child wont eat by Carlos Gonzalez. Just started reading it myself because my 20 month old no longer eats much.

This sounds very familiar!!

I used to serve all our dinner together when dh got him from work. Recently realised this was too late for ds, he was asking for snacks and then not being able to eat dinner, plus was too tired. So I now give him dinner earlier (5ish) that has cut out some snacking.

But the amount of foods he will eat is very limited. All he ever wants for dinner is pasta and won't touch veg. So I make pasta sauces packed with veg but blitzed in the food processor.

The other meals he just wants cream crackers! He eats all this dry food and hardly drinks anything ( I have to force him to drink!) drives me crazy! He won't eat any fruit, but he will drink a smoothie in the morning.

And before I became a mum I was adament I wouldn't have a fussy eater...

Doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong and the snacks aren't junk, my only suggestions would be, rather than offer the snack in Ikea I would have just headed to lunch a bit earlier to ensure he ate that, same with dinner offer a part of dinner earlier if you can - sounds weird but this is how I got my two yo to like broccoli! Also sometimes if I am out rushing around all morning I will make a basic little sandwich for my DD2 to eat while we are out or in the car so I don't start doling out the snacks and then head home and make a lunch she now won't eat as full from snacks!

For the breakfast issue we are often pushed for time too and I will make a slice of toast and cut it up and bring in a little snack pot for DD2 to have on the go.

I have two fairly fussy eaters so I feel your pain, but what can you do if you are offering a nice healthy meal for them - you can't force them to eat it. I notice mine go through growth spurts when they eat everything (and are willing to try new things shock horror!) and then phases were they are not really hungry.

Also another tip is if it is close to meal times, I would give a 'not filling' snack such as a small box of raisins or some grapes.

Just keep doing what you are doing, also I never offer an alternative for dinner but I always let them have a bit of fruit and small yogurt if they want it afterwards (so I know they have had SOMETHING and won't wake up starved!).