Bitey 18mo aargh

[StepfauxWife]

My 18mo DD has been going through a fairly long biting stage. She goes to nursery and is in a room with 5 other children. There's one girl she bites in particular. It's so horrible to see, she races after her with her mouth open and the poor little girl cowers as DD approaches.

DD is in other ways a really lovely little girl. She is quite chatty, open and smiley but seems to have these bouts of aggression. She also grabs at faces (which looks just as painful). She doesn't bite or grab at home.

Any tips on how to get through this?! The nursery staff are shadowing her and telling her it isn't nice and giving the other girl cuddles. She is currently the oldest in the room, I wonder whether she needs to hang out with older kids and get pushed about a bit?

Thanks in advance.

Shadowing her seems like a good idea. It might benefit her to spend time with older children, I don't know. Afraid I don't have much experience although I think if you're on it then that's the important thing. Could you do some playdates with her and try to keep an eye on her?

Thanks for the response. I'm too scared to organise play dates!

I'd be keen to hear of any other experiences.

My DS (also 18 months) also went to two stages of biting, one just before his 1st birthday and one at about 15/16 months. Shadowing helped in the sense that staff recognised when he was about to try to bite and removed him from the situation before he did. They also gave lots of attention to the bitten kid. They say it never seemed vicious, in fact, they had the feeling that, at times, it was his way of showing affection.

Anyway, I think this is just one of the things you have to ride out and 'manage'. Be consistent - whatever nursery does, do it at home, too. We told him sternly "No, we don't bite" and put him away from us when he bit us. That slowly sank in.

I also bought the book "teeth are not for biting". Not sure how much he understood, but I actually think he did a bit.

Thanks so much dodi, that all sounds familiar. I might try that book. She seems to know she's doing something wrong so perhaps it is an attention thing.

My Dd went through a whacking phase at around the same age. What worked for us in the end was to sit her on the floor and turn our backs without speaking at all. We'd sit like that for about a minute, she stopped doing it in about three days... It was nursery's suggestion as nothing else was working and they felt she was doing it for attention. I think it's a last resort as I wouldn't normally ignore my child but it's worth trying if you're really stuck.