Help with 6 year old Dd

[Londonladybird]

Really hoping someone may be able to offer some advice..
My DD is lovely sweet and kind. She's a really good kid. However recently everything seems to be a battle. She gets really cross and upset over so many things, including getting dressed for school, doing homework, tidying her room- i dont have high standards- making bed and opening curtains would be fine! There is shouting, crying, and so much refusal. It's so hard as these are things she has to do. I don't help the situation I'm sure because I get so cross, shout, say we will be late for school and it will be her fault etc. its hard because younger sibling just gets on and does getting dressed, teeth,etc with little fuss. I've tried to ask if there is something upsetting her causing this behaviour She says there is not. It's just so hard to know what to do. She does get up fairly early - around 6ish and I try to get her to sleep in longer but can't. It's just so frustrating.

All I expect my 6yo to do in the mornings is get dressed and bring her school bag to the kitchen to get her snack put in it. And even then I have to remind her to put her shoes on. But she does it with minimal fuss.

When she gets home she has to tidy her room. I still help her with her homework and her other chores are tidying the toys away, tidying the plates away after dinner and helping me unload the dishwasher.

So while I don't think you are asking too much, I do think maybe you need to scale your expectations back a bit, and then build them back up slowly. So the non negotiable is getting dressed, so start there. And once she is managing that then add in the room stuff. And honestly, shouting really gets you nowhere, in fact its probably largely to blame. You shout, she gets in a flap and starts being resistant against the shouting, you read it as resistant against the tasks and you are all stuck in the cycle. Its up to you as the adult to break it.

I probably wasn't very clear in my OP- the shouting from me comes after the crying, and refusal. Not for not doing it in the first place. As this is something that has changed recently not that has always been the case