Very angry 7.5 year old worrying behavior and VERY worried!

[jessicaf23]

I am a nanny to 3 little boys (yes I have got my hands full) they are 7.5, nearly 5 and 3 years old but I haven't had much trouble with the two younger boys just the eldest who has been quite difficult say the least over the past 3 years since I started the job now after an incident today I am almost at the end of my tether about what to do about his behavior.

A few months ago the 7 year old started getting EXTREMELY violent if it was something I was telling him off about, hurting his brother, disobeying me or being jealous but the first few times it was kicking me I thought typical boys but then it got worse he kept on doing it to the point that he was kicking me in the ribs and actually badly bruising them about 3-4 times I told his mum who wasn't that bothered about it but she said she would talk to him, take toys away etc yet he carried on doing it. Just when I thought he had calmed down I was COMPLETELY wrong this afternoon his mum wasn't home so I took the two younger boys inside and the oldest refused to come inside I tried picking him up to bring him inside he wouldn't tell me why he wouldn't (typical of him) but he started swinging his bag around at me and making fists saying he was going to punch me if I hadn't of moved his bag would of hit me straight in the face (it was full with his lunchbag, school books) when his mum arrived home he INSTANTLY put on the "I didn't nothing wrong act" of course his mum fell for it but it left me in one hell of a state my hand was shaking afterwards I talked to his mum about it and said he is like a teenager she says she will have "stern talks" with him but it never seems to do the trick. I am quite frankly FED UP of being hit, punched and kicked by a 7 and a half year old he is like a teenager already his younger brother is VERY VERY cheeky but hasn't EVER tried to hit, punch or kick me he wouldn't do it and there cousin who is 3 NEVER has done anything like that he has his bad days but the little one wouldn't ever do anything like that and I don't want him picking up on his eldest cousins bad habits thinking its okay

What do I honestly do now? I am really at a loss because it isn't fair on me whenever the 7.5 year old get angry he always takes it out on me after i pick him up from school his mum really says everytime she will have a "stern word with him" or "take toys away" but he carries on doing it

If anyone can give me some advice any parents or childminders I would really greatly appreciate it thank you so much!

Erm I dont know tbh but I'm a bit about some of the views you have expressed in this post kicking isn't typical boy behaviour I have boys of similar ages to the ones you look after neither has ever kicked anyone!

It doesn't sound like you are able to deal with this so I would start looking for a new position.

Hi thank you SO MUCH for replying I know how rough boys can get but the 7.5 year old is usually quite violent not only towards me but to his parents aswell I am quite frankly getting fed up of it but don't want to have to quit because of it then he will do it to other nannies too I was jobless for a year and a half before I got this job so I don't want too do anything I will later regret it wouldn't affect my job with the 3 year old but with the nearly 5 year old it would I just don't know what to do anymore and I don't get why he is so violent his mum doesn't care

Yetanotherchangename I can but I don't know what to do I try to ask him so quietly what is wrong and everything but he is having NONE of it I am sorry but its no excuse to hit an adult I think he has got something wrong with him I am unsure but he needs to perhaps go and see a psychologist even my mum who drives me thinks that his behaviour is disgusting!

And how do you deal with a severally abusive nearly 8 year old?

If he got worse a few months ago....did something change then?A new violent computer game? New friend at school? Bullied at school?

Find another job. It's not going to stop, and what happens if you injure him trying to protect yourself? You'll be the one having to explain to police/social work. It's not worth it. Also don't underestimate the ability of a small child to injure you badly. It's assault, and he's only going to get worse since there are no real consequences.

Hi squiz81 yes he was getting bullied at school but that was last year it was year 5 and 6 boys but they left and he is no longer getting bullied his mum really doesn't seem to care because she says things then he carries on doing them he is just a VERY VERY violent child thankfully in a way there younger cousin who is 3 doesn't see him often as I don't want him picking up on his HORRIFIC behaviour.

Frecklesfetures your so right I know and I 100% agree with what your saying where I live its so hard to get a job my hours are fantastic giving me plenty of time for my hospital appts etc if I would of gone to my GP with bruised ribs 4 times within 6 months he would of been VERY suspicious what is going on in my life and I couldn't say it was the child I look after.

I know its assault but I wish I could look after the nearly 5 year old and NOT look after his older brother because the nearly 5 year old is VERY VERY cheeky he says the funniest things sometimes rude but he doesn't mean ANY harm by it and he is NEVER violent either

I guess I am scared to leave worried about not finding a job as I was jobless for 1.5 years before getting this one but then I have a right to tell other nannies not to work for this family as there oldest son is EXTREMELY violent

what do you do when he is violent? How do you deal with it? For example, picking a 7 yo up I wouldn't have thought was a good idea... Are you a trained nanny?

I try to talk to him to calm him down, ask him what is wrong, go and talk somewhere quiet about what is wrong and it works 70% of the time I know but he was in my bosses driveway and people were going past it was so embarassing I had the two younger boys in the house and yes I am a tained nanny

I think there could be a bit too much talking going on. Ignore. If he's frustrated then lots of verbal can make things worse. The explosive child is a good book and will give you tips.

That said, you have to work with the family and if you feel that you are being ignored and they just expect you to be a punchbag without working together to sort out the behaviour, then I really think you'd be better off looking for another job.